Rejection. It is a big, ugly word. No one likes to hear it. As a teen you learn to fear it from the opposite sex. As a writer you must not only learn to accept it, but love it.

Rejection Happens

Before our flood, I wrote a fifty word story for a great site where I have submitted pieces before. Stories for the site must be no more and no less than fifty words. Exactly. It's a fun challenge. I really liked this little story, so I thought maybe I had a chance.

It was rejected.

I was getting the feeling that this would be the case when the email was taking a long time to arrive. Still, I was disappointed when the letter arrived. Yes, it was only fifty words, but the piece was a rough jewel I had inside of me that I managed to chisel into a story. Maybe it wasn't a diamond, or even a pearl, but I liked the stone. I guess you just never know.

Rejected Material is a Matter of Opinion

Yes, there is a method to writing. Every story must have a beginning, middle, and end. Yet even if it's technically well-crafted, someone may still hate your writing. It all depends on the experiences the reader has had, and if they can relate to your writing.

I do first reads for Grimdark Magazine(Which has a new issue out! If you like Game of Thrones, you should really check it out.) One of the biggest things I've noticed is that a story can follow all the writing rules, you can love it and think it's going to make it all the way to the editor only to have it rejected by the next reader. Or a story I don't love makes it to the top. See? Opinions.

How to Learn to Love Rejection

You want so much to see an acceptance letter in your inbox. You can already feel the joy it will bring. Maybe, if you get that yes, you can finally call yourself a writer. Or your spouse won't feel like you don't do anything all day. So when you get that rejection, you hate it.

You should love it. That unfortunate letter means that you are doing what you should be doing.

You are working.

You are trying.

You are failing.

Like an inventor, you learn through every explosion in your face. Each time you don't give up, you realize this job is what you were meant to do. You love writing, but if you want to get your name and story out there, you will have rejections. Everyone does.

So, love each part: the sound the keys make as you spill your soul onto the keyboard, editing, submitting, and rejection. Get excited when they say no; it means the better yes is coming.

I am not perfect. This post is certainly not perfect. The best we can do is try and simply enjoy the task before us.

My Little Story

Here is my little rejected story and a slice of motherhood for you.

Get Ready, Get set...
The microwave beeps. Coffee is reheated.
"Buddy, let's go."
"No!" The three-year-old yells.
Her other son's face reddens. The smell of half-sour yogurt and blueberries fills the air.
"One. Two..." She warns, while wiping poop.
"Here, Mommy."
Baby is changed. They finally walk out the door.
The coffee remains untouched and cold.

What's your opinion? Have you learned to love rejection?

Originally posted at http://momwhowrites.com/love-rejection/

Jewel is the mother of a goofy little boy and social baby girl. She blogs and loves to write short stories. You can find her atJust a Mom Who Writes.

In two weeks, I'm having a milestone birthday - The Big 4-0 – and the apple cart of my inner life has been somewhat jostled. For the last year, I have jokingly referred to my state of ennui about turning 40 as a "midlife assessment"; adjacent to, but not synonymous with the better known midlife crisis.

Indeed, I am not in crisis. But I would be lying if I said this birthday has not confounded me a bit.

As kids, my friends and I played M.A.S.H., attempting to foresee (or create) our futures. We would object when we ended up in a shack with 10 kids, working as a poop-scooper and married to Gregory, the glasses-wearing boy who wet his pants in gym class in first grade and had been a social pariah ever since.

No way! I wanted to marry cute Tim Knickerbocker, live in a mansion (or at least a house), have 3 or 4 kids and a fabulously successful job as a fashion designer or an Olympic gymnast (which seemed like a job to me at the time). It was a fun, silly game. But it was also useful for testing and shaping my ambitions.

My twenties and thirties were all about building my M.A.S.H. dream. I moved to Los Angeles, graduated from college, got a well-paying job and had a few years of 20-style living with ample disposable income before falling in love with and marrying the Man of My Dreams, moving to the 'burbs and having three babies. Check. Check. Check.

That's not to say all my choices were unreflected or rash. On the contrary, there were many times along the way when I stopped to consider if the trajectory of my life was well-aimed or if I needed to recalibrate.

But my thirties were a fast-paced and somewhat frenzied season that left very little time for assessment at the end of the day. I set up goals like firing targets, took aim and began knocking 'em down, one after another like Annie Oakley shooting a playing card.

Looking back, I can see that my life took on tremendous inertia; a life set at 65 mph on cruise-control, barreling through the days and weeks, gobbling up the years like Pac-Man.

For many of those years, I had an almost obsessive need to memorialize every instant with a photograph or video, desperate not to let a precious moment slip through my mind-sieve like water down the drain. And thank goodness I did! I remember so little! My memories often seem to me like flies stuck to fly-paper: luckily, loosely caught.

With that said, my thirties were good to me. I enjoyed having babies and toddlers, built a stable and flexible career for myself, made a lot of wonderful friends and began learning how to be a good wife and mother. I have cultivated a life I love very much.

If my eight-year-old self could meet my 39-year-old self, she would glow with pride and joy. While slightly exhausting, my thirties have been full, fun, dizzying and colorful. Forgive me for being predictable and sentimental, but the word is blessed. I feel blessed.

If the hectic, can't-stop-won't-stop, hyperactive thirties can leave me feeling this way, who's to say my forties won't be even better? Of course, none of us knows what the future will bring – or if we will even have a future! – but all evidence so far would suggest that my life is going to continue to be richly fulfilling.

So why am I so rattled by the idea of turning 40?

For starters, I am dumbfounded by how unbelievably fast four decades have gone by. I find myself unprepared to have reached this precipice so quickly.

Furthermore, I don't want to just live; I want to live well. I don't want to miss my own life, half asleep and joyless. I want to soak in every precious second of it – the good, the bad alike – and give my whole self to the people I'm with while I'm with them.

My most peaceful, gratifying experiences over the last forty years have occurred during ordinary moments when I have been extraordinarily attentive to the people I'm with or the place I'm in, and all the thoughts and feelings taking place at that instant. But the truth is that I am distracted, self-absorbed and emotionally and mentally absent more often than I like to admit.

Also unsettling is the fact that I have very few concrete goals for the second half of my life. M.A.S.H. and "Happily Ever After" implied that we make all our most important decisions early on in our adult lives; that the latter half of life is for basking in the glow of your dream come true.

Put in your forty years of toil, and forty to sixty years of bliss will naturally follow. Voila! This isn't the case, however, and now the next forty are stretched out in front of me like a frontier, vacant and unknown. While this presents a marvelous opportunity for me to dream big and start fresh, for a Virgo planner like myself, this is foreign, uncomfortable territory.

The fact is, with age comes wisdom and with each passing year I become increasingly aware of how little control I have. Everything I love and everything I've worked for can be taken from me in a snap. My twenties and thirties were spent actively planting a garden and harvesting the fruit.

But who makes the garden grow? At the end of the day, I can water, weed, nurture (or neglect), but I'll never have the power to make fruit.

As much as I hate feeling unprepared and out of control, I'm beginning to wonder if that is exactly how I'm supposed to feel going into my forties – if that isn't, in fact, the whole point. To stop trying to control my destiny and instead allow my fear to give way to a deep and powerful surrender.

Tracy Smith
Present Perfect

Last year, we launched a new tradition at the BlogHer conferences: The Pitch. In our mission to encourage and support women entrepreneurs, we launched The Pitch both online and as competitions at our conferences. Think of it as a little like "Shark Tank," if "Shark Tank" were warm and supportive and productive.

The Pitch: Food Edition at #BlogHerFood16 features four women founders of food-focused companies, who will present their Pitch on the main stage before an esteemed panel of judges—including "Top Chef" host Padma Lakshmi, who will be doing a book signing after the competition wraps.

Prior to the event, the SheKnows Media team will help each participant hone their consumer value proposition to be presented via video and as a live pitch on stage.

After hearing each Pitch, the judging panel will ask critical questions and offer live critiques. And afterwards the #BlogHerFood16 audience will vote for their favorites, and the judges will rank them.

The winning Pitch participant, as determined by a combination of judges ranking and conference attendee popular vote, will receive a prize package that includes marketing, media and mentorship support from SheKnows Media.

The Pitch: Food Edition will take place Saturday, October 8 and be emceed by our own Samantha Skey, SheKnows Media's President and CRO, and one of the primary champions of our Pitch initiative.

These four women entrepreneurs will give their Pitch:

• Amanda Spann, founder, Alchomy
• Avery Harris, owner, SAvery Grilled Cheese
• Mareya Ibrahim, founder and CEO, Eat Cleaner
• Martha Pincoffs, Owner, Hot Dang

And these three judges will join Samantha on stage:

• Aihui Ong, CEO of Love with Food (and winner of last year's #BlogHerFood15 Pitch competition) 
• Elise Bauer, founder of the country's largest food blog, Simply Recipes
• Padma Lakshmi, author and host of "Top Chef"

This is my new favorite part of the BlogHer conferences, so I'm excited it's returning, and can't wait for you to meet these awesome entrepreneurs and hear the advice from the judges, who are so generously sharing their wisdom.

Interested in pitching your own business? Learn more about The Pitch and how to apply to become a participant. And get to know the Pitch contestants from #BlogHerFood15, #BlogHer16, and #BlogHer15, too.

Don't miss out on #BlogHerFood16!

Register now: Space is limited.
See the agenda and speakers.
Sign up for the #BlogHer Conference newsletter for announcements and opportunities.

Elisa Camahort Page
Chief Community Officer, SheKnows Media and BlogHer Co-Founder 
elisa.camahortpage@sheknows.com
Twitter: @ElisaC
Instagram; @ElisaCP

While some of us write blog posts on the fly, tackling topics as they come to us, many more professional bloggers keep an editorial calendar for their blogs.

If you have a niche blog, such as a food blog, it's fairly easy to plan your content well in advance. But for those of us who don't, an editorial calendar still makes a lot of sense.

Why do you need an editorial calendar?

An editorial calendar is a great resource for you to keep track of deadlines and blogging ideas. It keeps you on track, makes you accountable and tides you over during those times that you have blogger's block.

Even if you are just starting out as a blogger, it's a good idea to have a calendar to make sure you write regularly. I usually note down ideas as they occur to me into my writer's notebook (I created one like this).

Then I transfer them online using on to Evernote, which I also use to save a collection of ideas clipped from the internet (the Chrome Evernote Web Clipper is fab). Each blog post idea is put into a separate note where I can keep adding quotes, more ideas, images, etc. I pull from this resource and keep adding to my editorial calendar.

How do you create a calendar?

You can create a simple editoral calendar using Excel. Some useful columns to include are:

• Post Date
• Author (if you're not the sole author)
• Title (or at least a descriptive idea of the content)
• Status - idea/draft/final?
• Category
• Tags
• Keywords - is it SEO friendly?
• Media to be added (images, videos, inforgraphics)
• What is the call to action (Is there a specific and measurable action you want to see from this topic)
• Notes

Templates and plugins you might find useful

Free Blog Editorial Calendar Template from Hubspot - A spreadsheet that you can download or use as a Google template.

Another spreadsheet calendar from Marketing Nutz that has columns for a lot more information that you can add to your editorial calendar.

If you can afford it, there's nothing like Co-Schedule, an easy drag-and-drop content marketing calendar that allows you to plan, create, and promote your content all in one place. It saves you time and helps you grow your audience through smart marketing plans and efficient team collaboration. You can sign up for a 14 day free trial here. I've used it in the past when it was USD 10 per month, but now it's totally beyond my budget.

If you are on Wordpress.org, you could use the free Editorial Calendar Plugin. The editorial calendar gives you an overview of your blog and when each post will be published. You can drag and drop to move posts, edit posts right in the calendar, and manage your entire blog. Since I have some regular features like #MondayMusings and #FridayReflections, I find this a very useful tool. It is also very handy when you're tackling a series of posts or doing the A to Z April Blogging Challenge.

If you're looking for something simple (and free), Amy Porterfield has a post on How to Use Google Calendar to Create an Editorial Calendar. The added advantage of this is that you can access Google calendar from any device. I presently use Google Calendar for my editorial calendar.

Do you plan to create an editorial calendar for your blog? If you already use one, tell us about it. What system do you use to keep track of your blogging plans?

This post first appeared on WriteTribe.com

Many food blogs are now entering their teenage years, while so many others are just getting started. But we all share the same questions: "How can I build a blog and a business for long-term success and fulfillment? How do I keep it fresh and stay motivated? How can I grow beyond my blog, especially as new tools, platforms, and opportunities show up every year?"

Every year at #BlogHerFood, we talk to role models about their stories—and their stamina. This year, we'll focus on that last question. Even as you love your blog and consider it your home base, you can grow your reach, your influence, your revenue, and your satisfaction by building your brand beyond it—and the four content creators joining us for this keynote conversation have done just that.

Elise Strachan is a YouTube superstar, originally from Australia, with nearly three million subscribers to her My Cupcake Addiction channel, which builds on her blog of the same name. Her videos have received nearly 400 million views. As we continue to evangelize just how important video has become, Elise’s story is all about building those skills and building a following on YouTube. Unsurprisingly, a book deal has followed her success, and her first book is coming out just in time for the conference.

Jill Nystul’s simple premise—to share one good thing with her readers each day—helped grow her blog, One Good Thing by Jillee, to five million page views a month. Along the way, she built a massive following on Pinterest. Both on her blog and in her book One Good Life, Jillee has shared her life story, including her recovery from alcohol addiction. Her openness and her optimism (and perhaps partly her background as an Emmy award-winning TV talk show producer) have led her to regular appearances in national print and broadcast media.

Jocelyn Delk Adams is the author of the award-winning and Amazon best-selling cookbook Grandbaby Cakes. Both the book and her blog of the same name put her modern spin on her family’s cherished generational recipes, while preserving the most important ingredient: tradition. The heartwarming focus of her blog helped Jocelyn deliver the book, then quickly branch out into a variety of appearances and gigs, all within four years. For example, Jocelyn is a cast member on season 7 of the Cooking Channel show "Unique Sweets," and she has worked with top brands such as Coca-Cola, McCormick, and KitchenAid.

Sean Timberlake is a longtime food writer and blogger who started his personal blog, Hedonia, in 2006. He launched Punk Domestics, a site for the DIY and food preserving community, in 2010. He is also the Food Preservation Expert for About.com. Sean has also branched out from online, bringing his food expertise to live audiences by with food tours and experiences—both with local tours in San Francisco, and by taking groups overseas for hands-on experiences.

All four of our keynote speakers are diversifying, staying nimble, and discovering the best showcases for their unique strengths. We know they’ll provide you with both inspiration that you, too, can achieve things you never thought possible, and some practical advice on how to get there.

Are you headed to the #BlogHerFood16 conference in Austin just two weeks? We can't wait to see you! As you plan your time and experience, grab our free mobile conference app now so you won't miss a thing you want to see.

Past attendees can tell you that the app will definitely keep you in the loop during the conference. It shows you the time and place of everything that's happening (plus maps), gives you tools to network and track your day, and even sends notices and announcements throughout the conference.

Here's how to use the app to stay on top of all the Austin awesomeness:

• Connect with people during the conference: You can add your profile to the app, and reach out to connect with other attendees and speakers. This makes it super easy to touch base with people leading up to, during and after the conference.
• Schedule your time: Pull up the agenda, find something you don't want to miss, and click the star on that listing to add it to your personal schedule.
• Check out our sponsors: You can all the sponsors who support this amazing community. Use the map to find the ones you want to see in Austin, and check them off your list once you do. You can even request a meeting with sponsors through the app.
• Take notes: There's a handy note-taking tool next to every item on the agenda and sponsor lists. If there's something you want to remember during a session or sponsor meeting, just take your notes right in the app. The "My Notes" button on the home page lets you see all your notes in one spot.

Download the mobile app here or find it in the iTunes store now and always be oriented at #BlogHerFood16. See you in Austin!

Please note: If you already have the BlogHer Events app installed on your phone from a past conference, you'll need to click the "Exit to Show List" button on your home page to open the #BlogHerFood16 app for the first time.

It isn't easy to run a business.

There are family pressures, and it can be stressful when you know that people are counting on you. It's a risk. It's hard work. But it's also rewarding and so worth the effort.

My family owned and operated an orchard and fruit stand in Kettle Falls, Washington, and working alongside my brother and parents, I learned what it means to be a small business owner.

When you start a business, you embrace an inner part of you that tells you to dig deeper, push harder, and let the creativity flow. It's about imagining what's possible and going out and making it happen.

This spirit of innovation is why America is the home of cutting-edge startups, scientific discovery, and technological advancements. Here, you have the freedom to pursue.

America's business women are testament to that freedom. As we celebrate American Business Women's Day, it's worth noting how far women have come since President Reagan first proclaimed this day in 1983. Women currently make up nearly half the workforce, attain post-graduate degrees at higher rates than their peers, and launch firms at a rate one and a half times that of the national average.

Women across the country are breaking through the glass ceiling and boldly pursuing their own unique version of the American Dream.

As a lawmaker, my colleagues and I have a responsibility to listen to this next generation of business leaders, and put forth ideas that address the unique challenges they face.

Hearing from women from coast to coast, I'm proud to use my role as Chair of the House Republican Conference to guide policy to make it easier for business owners to grow, hire, and continue to build on the accomplishments of trailblazers before them.

When House Republicans rolled out A Better Way: Our Vision for a Confident America to tackle some of the biggest problems facing Americans from all walks of life, like the business owner, we reaffirmed our commitment to making it easier to do business. Here's how:

Regulate Smarter

Women-owned businesses are the fastest growing segment of American small businesses, which also means they are also among the groups most disproportionately affected by the regulatory burdens of paperwork, the overtime and fiduciary rules, and accessing capital.

Our "Better Way to Grow the Economy" plan addresses these burdens by helping to roll back the red tape that straps so many business owners. Americans spent 9.45 billion hours on federal paperwork in 2013 alone. That's like watching Disney's Frozen back-to-back for nearly 400 million days straight (for us parents, it feels like we already do this). We know you have better uses for that time, so we focus on eliminating redundancies, allowing for more transparency and public commenting, and increasing oversight.

We propose repealing the overtime and fiduciary rules, both of which saddle small business owners and make it difficult for low and middle income families to save and plan for retirement.

Further, we tackle one of the biggest barriers to women starting and growing their businesses: access to capital. Our plan aims to force the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), the agency tasked with regulating the securities industry and the nation's stock and options exchanges, to make capital formation and access to capital a core priority.

A Tax Code Built for Growth

In addition to targeting regulations that are holding so many American businesses back, our "Better Way for Tax Reform" plan calls for a simpler, fairer tax code. Whether a woman is running a Fortune 500 company or juggling the demands of a small business, we propose lessening the tax burden by lowering the rate she pays to Uncle Sam.

With our plan, we're offering simplicity and fairness. The compliance costs and convoluted rates that small business owners face are long overdue for an overhaul. A small business owner simply doesn't have the resources to dedicate an employee, or a team, solely to managing compliance and taxation. However, it isn't only about compliance – we want to give Americans more of their income back.

As Rep. Diane Black (R-TN), a small business owner who has been working on our tax code, shared with BlogHer readers earlier this summer, "Our plan starts with simplifying the tax code to three tax brackets, and lowering the top individual income tax rate down to 33 percent. It also calls for simplifying taxes for families by creating a larger standard deduction and a larger child and dependent tax credit. As a result, the average family would be able to complete their taxes on a postcard-sized form like this one—no expensive software or professional tax preparer required."

However, it isn't only about paperwork—we want to give Americans more of their income back.

Currently, most American businesses file under the individual rate, and as a result many of them are forced to pay a top marginal rate of 44.5 percent, while their corporate counterparts don't pay anywhere near that.

Under our plan, small businesses will pay a maximum marginal rate of 25 percent – that's nearly 20 percent back in the pockets of these business owners that they can use to invest and grow their businesses.

By simplifying the code and giving business owners regulatory relief, they can redirect these resources to growing their business rather than burying them in a mountain of regulatory compliance.

Quality, Affordable Health Care

The number-one concern among American families is health care costs, and small business owners are hit particularly hard by the uncertainty posed by our current health care system.

Our "Better Way to Fix Health Care" plan makes it easier for small businesses to offer affordable health care to their employees, supports portability of your health insurance, and makes it simpler for businesses and their employees to buy their own health insurance in the individual market. This is creates consistency in care as you move from job to job, and into your retirement years.

Our agenda brings younger and healthier people into the system, expands patient-centered health care, offers sales across state lines, preserves employer-based insurance, and allows small businesses and individuals to band together.

Rather than tie up wellness programs in red tape, our plan makes sure employers are able to reward employees for making healthy choices. This will encourage personal responsibility, and save both businesses and workers valuable healthcare dollars. Having access to affordable healthcare not only helps small businesses retain talent, but it's the right thing to do to ensure the future health of countless Americans.

No matter where you come from. No matter what your age, race, gender, or walk of life, you should have the ability to imagine what's possible and have the opportunity to go out and make it happen. As we continue to bring our agenda to communities across the country, I hope you will offer feedback. At the end of the day, our agenda is about you, inspired by you, and for you.

With A Better Way, House Republicans are offering women an option that values their voice and puts them in the driver's seat.

BlogHer is nonpartisan, but our community members aren't! Find other political opinions or share your own now.

My default vanilla was established in a subterranean ice cream shop in the former Soviet Union, where my parents took me after I had my ears pierced. I was three years old, and while I don't recall the actual needle stabbing in my ear, the intense sweet vanilla lodged itself as the standard by which all future vanillas will have to measure against.

Maybe in the wake of a traumatic event, your tastebuds become hyper-sensitive and tastes become saturated. Or else maybe your brain just remembers them that way.

It's my only sensorial memory from the Soviet Union. Where did the others go? I was almost five years old when we landed at JFK Airport, and the only stories I can recount are those which were told to me, using photographs as triggers, convincing me of the life I had.

Like an amnesiac, I grip faded photographs trying hard to recall a memory frozen in time. How is it possible to loose all of your childhood memories without any biological trauma?

That Russian vanilla feels nostalgic even though I can't close my eyes tight enough to create a visual of the actual ear piercing that happened before the ice cream. I only remember the sweet reward and its lasting connection to childhood.

As an immigrant, American foods don't often trigger a sense of wistfulness with me. I don't salivate as soon as I smell the smoke of a grill, reminiscing about childhood 4th of July BBQs.

When I was a teenager, more social experiences occurred around food, and those memories seem to float up with certain flavors. Platters of nachos covered in a brick of cheddar cheese invoke comforting memories at my best friend's house, a welcome reprieve from a shitty high school experience I've otherwise forgotten.

My father bought a donut shop in Staten Island and on the four occasions we visited it before we moved, I got an egg bagel with cream cheese and a Hershey's chocolate milk. In those visits, I sat around a horseshoe counter imagining how successful my father will be, how different our lives will become.

That breakfast combination tasted like American dreams, and after we moved to Staten Island and I began working at the donut shop regularly, much to my chagrin, I never had this breakfast combination again. We replaced egg bagels with egg-everything ones and switched from Hershey's to Nestle's chocolate milk. I could never replicate that taste of original promise; only a fake replica.

Through those years at the donut shop, where I was also the short order cook for the 3pm-11pm shift, I helped combine many flavors to define my adolescence.

Ham sandwiches on kaiser rolls with pickles on them, bacon, egg and cheese on a roll, raw cookie dough, chocolate-covered donuts with sprinkles on them. It was a shit show of unhealthy, quick comfort foods which I made with love for our customers and then happily devoured myself.

I was 40 pounds overweight in high school, and before I left for college, I made sure to leave the donut shop with its artery-blocking grub and those extra pounds behind on Staten Island.

In college, frozen yogurt was the hip diet trend craze. There was a small cafe we frequented on Commonwealth Avenue in Boston. There I created a custom-blended frozen yogurt masterpiece.

For freshman year only, thanks to my college roommate who convinced me of its deliciousness, my combination was "chocolate base with mint chip and grape nuts." I had never had the gritty cereal before, but somehow the sand-like crunch became addictive. When I transferred away from Boston, I left the pseudo-healthy gravel ice cream with it.

I moved to NYU where veggie burgers and carrot-ginger dressing were all the rage at DoJo Restaurant. In New York dozens of cuisines serve as the backdrop for my flavor memories, but to this day when I drive by West 4th Street, I think about that DoJo dressing.

I realize this is why I go back to familiar restaurants. We live in a city with about 24,000 restaurants; I can go to a different restaurant every day FOR OVER 65 YEARS without trying the same one twice.

My husband and I laugh at ourselves; how ridiculous of us to continue to go to the same places over and over when there are literally thousands of other choices. We go for the flavor memories, for the nostalgia, for the same reason listening to a favorite song over and over elicits joy and excitement.

Flavors are the spice to our lives, unlocking time capsules even photographs cannot unleash.

www.heartseverywhere.com

I'm writing every day for 365 days.

Almost 9 years ago, I received an email out of the blue from Denise Tanton asking if I wanted to write about infertility for BlogHer. I had been writing about infertility on my blog, Stirrup Queens, and she thought the subject matter would be a good fit for the editorial section of the BlogHer site.

I came here to write about infertility. I was an infertility writer. If I wanted to be generous and stretch it, I could call myself a reproductive health writer.

I thought that was my writing identity. I wrote my first book about infertility, I wrote here about infertility, and I wrote on my personal blog about infertility. I typed the word "uterus" so many times that it stopped looking like a real word and more like an alien amalgamation of letters that had slipped into the dictionary.

One day, I was crossing the parking lot at the library when the beginning of a novel popped into my head. What the hell? I was not a fiction writer, despite having an MFA in fiction. I was an infertility writer. But that novel idea followed me around all day, coming to me in bits and pieces as I ran errands.

And then it begged me to start typing it.

So I did.

Part of me felt like I couldn't call myself an infertility and fiction writer. That sounded... weird, like I was a peanut butter and popsicle sandwich. I decided to keep thinking of myself as an infertility writer who happened to also work on fiction. But then other topics started worming their way onto my personal blog and my BlogHer profile.

I wrote about politics and memories from childhood and recipes and blogging trends. It happened slowly at first; a post or two a month. And then it became more frequent: I wrote about loving interactive fiction games and my fears as a parent and movies I had seen. I wrote about meeting up with friends and vacation fails.

I wrote and published two more novels. Then I decided I wanted to write programming books, so I wrote and published two of those.

I dissected the holidays and friendship and work-life balance. I still wrote about infertility, but it moved from being the primary focus of my personal blog and my posts on BlogHer to being one of many topics that I chose from when I sat down to write at the beginning of the day.

Along the way, due to a lot of smart women guiding me toward my voice, I became a writer. Not an infertility writer or a fiction writer or a parenting writer or a food writer. I became a writer, someone who uses words to process her world.

Years ago, when I first left the little nook of my topic, I was so scared to lose my writing identity. I thought that not having a topic in front of the word writer would mean that I wouldn't know what to write about. I wouldn't know my place in the world of words. I thought I really needed my niche.

But it turns out that you can poke your head out of your niche and follow your interests and still have something to say, each and every morning.

So if you are struggling to define yourself as a writer, my advice is to... not. Just call yourself a writer and see where the words take you. Be open to each and every project that pops into your head, following your interests rather than telling them to stay in the corner.

To borrow (and twist) Rubeus Hagrid's words: "You're a writer. And a thumpin' good'un once yeh've been trained up a bit."

So go write.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens and Lost and Found. Her novel about blogging is Life from Scratch.

As we get ready to descend on Austin next week for #BlogHerFood16, I wanted to create one big recap of all the activities you can expect there—just case you’ve missed some of the many interesting announcements as they’ve rolled in over the last few months.

The Main Stage

On Friday morning, we kick off with our Welcome and Lightning Lessons, including a sneak preview of the SheKnows Community site that’s going to be launched soon after the conference. Executive Editorial Director Julie Ross Godar will walk you through what to expect (and gain) from being an active member of our site, and she'll share some very useful techniques for sharing your food content on a multi-topic platform. She’ll be followed by a mind-stretching presentation from Irvin Lin on how to find your inspiration for your food content from decidedly non-food-related sources. Next, I’ll walk you through a level-setting lesson on Owning Your Expertise. Understanding your specific, unique expertise (and being bold enough to own it) is a necessary step to deriving the most value from it! And finally, Susan Getgood will update us all on the latest rulings from the FTC that affect all bloggers and social media users who interact with brands.

Also on Friday, a quartet of highly successful bloggers and social media mavens hits the main stage for a discussion of how they’ve found success and satisfaction outside their blog. And to close out Friday, we'll be treated to an appearance and cooking demo by several of the Smollett siblings, who'll talk about food, family traditions, and being on the Food Network.

On Saturday morning, The Pitch: Food Edition returns to the conference after its smash debut at #BlogHerFood15. The Pitch is a platform and video series created by SheKnows Media to elevate, connect, and mentor women entrepreneurs. This year, four entrepreneurs will pitch to a panel of judges (and to you) their products, ranging from a food app to a food truck. We'll announce the winner (determined by the judge’s rankings and your votes) at the closing keynote.

Finally, that closing keynote will feature an exploration of the many, many opportunities to become celebrities now open to chefs, and also how celebrities are gaining credibility and respect in the world of food. Chef, "The Chew" co-host, and beloved "Top Chef" cheftestant Carla Hall will discuss that continuum with actor and cookbook author Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Lisa Lillien of Hungry Girl, who started out sending a daily email to friend and has built an empire and best-selling books.

The Program

#BlogHerFood16 isn’t all about the main stage. Two days of breakout programming allow us to dive deeply into four subject areas. The Art & Science of Blogging covers the craft and the business skills required to make your food blog fly. The A/V Club track is perfect for helping you expand your presence into podcasting and video. Social Media Bootcamp delivers the latest best practices on social tools from Pinterest to Snapchat. And the In the Kitchen sessions get hands-on with demonstrations.

The Sponsors

We leave a generous amount of time to visit with sponsors and taste their wares, including our Friday night Welcome Reception in the sponsor hall. From the healthy to the indulgent, from kitchen equipment to blog information sources, our sponsors cover a range of interests (and flavors).

The Fun

Two #BlogHerFood traditions will continue in 2016: the Saturday afternoon excursions and the Saturday closing party.

On Saturday afternoon, rather than sending everyone to just one location, we decided to mix things up and create several excursion opportunities. We've lined up a few Austinites to take groups to their own favorite place. From the most classic Texan comfort food to authentic Indian food in the heart of Austin, these are local gems picked by local experts. Stay tuned for more details coming soon!

This year we close out all the fun with a rooftop party in the Gibson Lounge at Maggie Mae’s, an Austin institution. If you like craft cocktails (and checking out vintage Gibson guitars) this will be the perfect way to wind down your #BlogHerFood16 experience with food, friends, and a fancy drink.

With all that going on you could hardly be blamed for wishing you could be two or even three places at once. What session or speaker or sponsor are you most looking forward to?

When we asked our #BlogHerFood16 speakers, "Who has a recently published a book, or has one coming out soon?" I didn’t expect to want to read ALL THE FOOD BOOKS. But I found myself charmed by Kathy Strahs' new ideas for a vintage baking dish and intrigued by Kathy Hester's techniques for the Instant Pot. I was dazzled by Irvin Lin's desserts with a twist and absolutely fascinated by Toni Tipton-Martin's look at two centuries of African American cookbooks. Bookmark these 10 books as holiday gift ideas for your food-obsessed friends (or just put them on your own wishlist).

The 8x8 Cookbook: Square Meals for Weeknight Family Dinners, Desserts and More—in One Perfect 8x8-Inch Dish

Kathy Strahs' latest cookbook is the first release from her very own publishing company, Burnt Cheese Press. The genius idea behind it is that the 8-by-8-inch dish you pull out for brownies and maybe lasagna is capable of so much more—and she's stuffed her book with recipes for everything from killer potluck dishes to make-and-freeze dinners, along with an ode to vintage Pyrex.

Back to the Kitchen: 75 Delicious, Real Recipes (& True Stories) from a Food-Obsessed Actor

Just your basic family cookbook—if you happen to be actor Freddie Prinze, Jr., and your family happens to include Sarah Michelle Gellar. This charming tome shares kid-friendly food tips and recipes that show off both Freddie's culinary education and his New Mexico roots, along with items like "Parker Posey's Pancakes."

Danielle Walker's Against All Grain Celebrations: A Year of Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free, and Paleo Recipes for Every Occasion

Parties can be their own circle of hell if you're not into grains or dairy. But the latest in Danielle Walker's Against All Grain cookbook series is here for all your festive needs, with recipes for everything from birthday cakes to holiday cookies—even an impressive grain-free paleo "corn bread" for the Thanksgiving table (how did she do that?).

Food Swap: Specialty Recipes for Bartering, Sharing & Giving ― Including the World’s Best Salted Caramel Sauce

As the founder of one of the biggest food swap groups in the U.S., Emily Paster knows whereof she speaks. Her book is an excellent guide to creating or joining a swap group of your own, and you should, because they're fun. Her recipes for homemade goods go way beyond holiday cookies (I'd so call dibs on her cultured butter). And her clever packaging tips will set you up right for holiday gift-giving, too.

Hungry Girl Clean & Hungry: Easy All-Natural Recipes for Healthy Eating in the Real World

Lisa Lillien's Hungry Girl brand began with an email and grew to an empire, including a TV show and 11 cookbooks, of techniques and tips for healthy eating. Her latest cookbook is her first containing all-clean ingredients, including 90 vegetarian recipes. But her trademark "make it easy" approach is still present in full force: 56 of her recipes take 30 minutes or less, and 43 contain with five or fewer ingredients.

The Jemima Code: Two Centuries of African American Cookbooks

Toni Tipton-Martin's James Beard Award-winning work is an exploration of history and heritage through 150 cookbooks published by African American authors. These writer-cooks were teachers, entrepreneurs, culinary innovators, and activists, and Toni's examination of their legacy is a compelling response to the "Aunt Jemima" stereotype. It's also a grand gift idea for anyone into food, culture, and history.

Marbled, Swirled, and Layered: 150 Recipes and Variations for Artful Bars, Cookies, Pies, Cakes, and More

Check out the cover recipe on blogger-photographer Irvin Lin's cookbook, coming out November 1: It looks the most upscale version of Hostess cupcake imaginable. These 150 dessert recipes all have some ingenious twist that would make them a showstopper (to borrow a "Great British Bake-Off" term, RIP) on your holiday table. And, of course, they're brilliantly photographed.

Pure Delicious: More Than 150 Delectable Allergen-Free Recipes Without Gluten, Dairy, Eggs, Soy, Peanuts, Tree Nuts,…

If you or a family member has severe food allergies like Heather Christo and her two daughters do, cooking and eating can be serious business. But Heather's mission is to teach others struggling with allergies how to live a joyful and easy life, and her recipes are designed to make people happy with their food. (If you're an autumn person, the pumpkin layer cake with maple frosting and salted caramel drizzle will make you very happy, indeed.)

Sweet Celebrations: A My Cupcake Addiction Cookbook

Elise Strachan is the creator and host of the hugely popular My Cupcake Addiction YouTube baking show. Her latest cookbook, out October 25, shares a year's worth of excellent party ideas, with dessert and drink recipes and entertainment tips sprinkled throughout. My favorite part: The "small bake" and "no bake" options for time-strapped hosts. So smart.

The Ultimate Vegan Cookbook for Your Instant Pot: 80 Easy and Delicious Plant-Based Recipes That You Can Make in Half the…

If you don't know what an Instant Pot is, think slow cooker plus pressure cooker plus rice cooker plus steamer (plus some more functions), all in one magical contraption. Kathy Hester's upcoming cookbook (out January 10, 2017) demonstrates wizard-level mastery of the Instant Pot's features, adapted for the vegan cook—including ways to make your own non-dairy yogurt.

We're excited to bring #BlogHerFood16 to Austin this year, and to bring our conference attendees a taste of this city's incredible food culture with the opportunity to participate in one of four lunchtime excursions. We've found some Austin locals to lead trips to some of their favorite places, all within walking distance of the Hilton.

These super-casual, no-host outings will take place Saturday, October 8, from 12:15 to 2:30 p.m. The groups will meet up in the lobby of the Hilton Austin at 12:15 p.m. Each group will contain 25-30 attendees, and you need to sign up to join. We'll open signups online the day before—that's Friday, October 7. Check back here or on our Facebook group on Friday to grab the registration link.

BEST OF AUSTIN FOOD TRAILER TOUR

Alice Chase, of Thrill of the Chases, leads a crawl through some really awesome street eats. Bring your appetite for some of Austin’s top food trailers, such as Art of Tacos, Big Fat Greek Gyros, Tommy Want Wingy, and one of the most delicious vegan food trailers in town: Arlo's Curbside Kitchen. Be sure to have cash on hand—you might discover a food truck that accepts cash only.

1886 CAFÉ & BAKERY

Leigh Ann Torres, of Genie in a Blog, leads a walk to 1886 Café & Bakery for classic Texan comfort food in a casually elegant setting. Originally the Driskill Hotel's saloon and billiard hall, today the open kitchen features daily specials and local favorites such as the Hangover Burger and the acclaimed 1886 Chocolate Cake, with a recipe dating from the hotel's opening. A full bar also offers an extensive wine list and local craft beer selection, along with custom cocktails. Don't miss the Cheese Soup, developed in 1954 by Helen Corbitt, the former Driskill food and beverage director and director of cuisine for Neiman Marcus, known as the "duchess of Texan cuisine."

GERALDINE'S

Kristin Shaw, of Two Cannoli, takes #BlogHerFood16 to Geraldine's. Offering a bat's-eye view of Lady Bird Lake and the downtown skyline, Geraldine's is named after the famed guinea fowl that once roamed Rainey Street. Respect for Austin's history and culture seeps into every part of the restaurant, from the local ingredients to the nightly concert lineup (because there is no Austin without live music). Take shelter from the Texas sun at the adjacent rooftop lounge, complete with private cabanas and outdoor seating. Their contemporary Austin fare invites one and all to a communal dining experience. With shared plates and community seating bringing the whole room into harmony, every service is a symphony at Geraldine's.

G'RAJ MAHAL CAFÉ & LOUNGE

Join Alyssa Arora, of Her Modern Kitchen, on a trip to to G'Raj Mahal. The story of G'Raj Mahal begins with native Austinite and chef Sidney Roberts' vision to bring Western Indian cuisine to the city. After four years of growing success at their food trailer location, this culinary family is thrilled to welcome you into their new brick and mortar home. G'Raj Mahal Cafe & Lounge offers the best of Austin's atmosphere and attitude with a combination of traditional and innovative Indian comfort food coupled with local music in the heart of Rainey Street.

REGISTER FOR EXCURSIONS ON FRIDAY, OCTOBER 7

Check back for a link to our registration page on Friday, Oct. 7, when you'll be given the opportunity to sign up for one of these mouthwatering experiences.

You can always branch out on your own and organize your own outing, and we can help you do that, too! We'll have a thread for recommendations of must-visit Austin spots on our Going to BlogHer Food Facebook Group. And check out this list of more locals' favorite Austin restaurants to get you started.

See you in Texas!

One of the things the BlogHer Events team loves most about #BlogHerFood is getting to explore a city each year. We pick the locations for their great food culture, and we love getting a taste of the city as much as our attendees do.

Image: Stubb's BBQ, by John Tornow on Flickr

We asked Austin food bloggers for places to check out during #BlogHerFood16. If you have locations to add, please share them in the comments!

And don't forget the Saturday lunchtime excursions to Austin food spots—this year you can choose one of four walks to local food bloggers' favorite spots. Signups open up on Friday, October 7.

• Beer and pretzels at Easy Tiger (Sixth St.)
• Tea at the Four Seasons Hotel (Cesar Chavez St.)
• Pour-over coffee at Houndsooth Coffee (Fourth St. and Congress)
• Pizza at The Backspace (Sixth St. and San Jacinto)
• BBQ at Ironworks (Red River and Cesar Chavez)
• BBQ at Stubb's (Red River and Eighth St.)
• BBQ at Cooper's (Third St. and Congress)
• BBQ at Lambert's (Second St. and Guadalupe)
• Mexican at Manuel's (Third St. and Congress)
• Mexican at El Naranjo (Rainey St.)
• Lunch at Moonshine (Third St. and Red River)
• Lunch at Koriente (Seventh St. between Red River and Sabine)

Happy eating!

The annual #BlogHerFood conference happens in Austin this Friday and Saturday, October 7 and 8. I cannot wait to get there—I vibe hard with Austin's taco obsession, its deep and historical love of barbecue, the way its food culture is a music culture and vice versa, and its proud weirdness. I even love the bats on the Ann W. Richards Bridge (I mean, who wouldn't?).

But more than anything, I love the conference, and I want you to love it, too. So if you're going, get prepared by downloading the #BlogHerFood16 FAQs.

You'll find answers to all your questions from "How do I register?" (easy) to "How do I choose what sessions to attend?" (harder, because we have so many) to "Where should I have dinner?" (nearly impossible for a food lover, but we have recommendations for you).

If you haven't yet, don't forget to grab the #BlogHerFood16 conference app, where you'll get real-time updates, site maps, and be able to find and message sponsors and fellow attendees. And check out Elisa's post of everything there is to see and do at this year's conference so you don't miss a thing in Austin.

So download the FAQs, and I'll see you this Friday!

Up in New Hampshire, Republican Senator Kelly Ayotte is trying out a novel campaign tactic: Rather than just engage in the usual baby-kissing, Ayotte is handing out free condoms.

Yes, really.

Image: Gage Skidmore, Flickr Creative Commons License

It’s all in aid of drawing attention to Ayotte’s pro-contraception stance, as well as her support for selling the birth control pill over the counter—a policy idea that has gained a lot of steam, thanks in large part to the efforts of female legislators across the country.

As I wrote earlier this year, over-the-counter/get-it-from-your-pharmacist legislation was already on the books at the outset of 2016 in Oregon, California, and Washington, D.C., and was being pursued during this year’s state legislative sessions in Tennessee, Missouri, and Washington. Republican women led the charge in the last two states.

But absent federal legislation, or all 50 states acting, women in most places would not benefit from these moves—and would still have to visit the doctor, incur visit and testing fees, then visit the pharmacist, and so on, in order to get the Pill.

Not if Ayotte has it her way. Along with Sen. Cory Gardner, she introduced the Allowing Greater Access to Safe and Effective Contraception Act earlier this year.

According to a press release, that bill "would incentivize manufacturers of routine-use contraceptives to file for a prescription-to-over-the-counter switch by allowing for priority review of the application and waiving the FDA filing fee […] Further, the bill would repeal the Affordable Care Act’s restriction on the use of health, medical, and flexible savings accounts to purchase over-the-counter drugs without a prescription."

The legislation appears aimed at reducing the hassle factor involved in obtaining hormonal contraceptives, which remains despite Obamacare making the Pill free for those carrying qualifying insurance.

As I wrote in April, "For white-collar, professional, salaried women, it’s mostly just annoying having to take time out of a busy day to visit the doctor, and cover or contribute to the attendant costs of the visit and the tests that many doctors require or advise in order to get a pill prescription (even when you’re perfectly healthy). But for those between jobs and poor women, especially those paid low hourly rates who literally lose money when they take time to go to the doctor, it’s more than merely irritating; it’s straight-up unaffordable, in terms of time and/or money. As Dr. Susan Dodd of Knoxville, Tennessee notes, the consequences of this are that 'A lot of women just cross their fingers and hope their condoms are going to work.'"

Ayotte appears to be helping to get women those "hopefully-will-work" condoms, but obviously is angling for something better in the long term. For the next month or so, though, Ayotte will continue giving the condoms out to her constituents.

Two months ago, we danced the night away at the Conga Room in Los Angeles, closing #BlogHer16 in style. And here we are today, announcing #BlogHer17.

Our conference history has been rich with fabulous cities and venues: Chicago, New York, and five (!) different California cities. But we've never headed to the South, and it's definitely time we do so. I'm excited to announce that #BlogHer17 will take place in Orlando, Florida next summer!

We hope you'll make plans now to join us at #BlogHer17, taking place June 22-24 at the Hilton Bonnet Creek, Orlando. Yes, we're also bumping the conference a few weeks earlier than it's ever been before. And change, in this case, is good—because it allows us to host you at this amazing venue at an even better price.

The Hilton Bonnet Creek looks and feels like a resort (for you old-schoolers, it's very similar to how the hotel in San Diego felt), and it offers affordable luxury for all with an exceptional room rate of $179 per night, single or double occupancy.

  I mean, just look at this pool.

We're also bringing back SUPER-EARLYBIRD pricing of only $199 for the Blogger/Influencer full pass. Designed for online content creators who use blogs or other social media to share their voices, this rate is good from now until the end of 2016.

As always, if you're representing a brand, agency, company, or other organizations, you should purchase the Company-rate full pass, and you too can take advantage of a Super-Earlybird price just for you.

When you register, keep your eyes open for a little surprise once your registration is complete. I mean, how could we go to Orlando, and not offer you a something special at those nearby attractions? Register for #BlogHer17, and get a discount for Disney! (That means it will be a vacation for the entire family, right?)

We’re just getting started on the conference, but I'm excited that we can announce our first keynote fireside chat: Luvvie Ajayi, a longtime member of our community who is undeniably having the Best! Year! Ever! with her book "I'm Judging You" debuting as an instant besteller on the New York Times list.

You'll also be able to share your own great ideas for #BlogHer17 when we launch our call for speakers and ideas on Tuesday, October 11. The call will only be open for one month, so don't miss the chance to take our stage.

We'll be looking for amazing ideas and speakers across several themes: The Art & Science of Blogging, Technology & Tools, Heart & Soul, and Health & Wellness (that last one is new track focus for us, and I'm excited about it). You'll learn more about each track when Lucrecer shares our call for speakers and ideas next week.

But for now? Don't miss #BlogHer17, and don't miss this super-low price!

And subscribe to our newsletter to get notified as each new announcement comes. The conference is only nine months away, so we'll be rocking and rolling from day one.

I think there must be something about the city of Austin that just makes people relax and have fun, because everyone I met at #BlogHerFood16 was so warm, real, and connected—including our keynoting celebrities! I got to see a lot of panelists having a lot of fun with their audiences. And it goes without saying that many of those connections were made over meals in this incredible food city.

Some of my favorite moments:

• Carla Hall actually attending the conference all weekend, going to sessions and then being so charming, funny, and smart moderating the closing keynote on being a celebrity-chef. She is my new icon.
• Freddie Prinze Jr. sharing in that keynote that he's a storyteller from birth, and just the night before told the same story twice in a talk. (I can so totally relate to that.)
• Our Pitch: Food Edition winner was the awesome Martha Pincoffs of Hot Dang. Her company is so named because when you taste her products, you have to holler, "HOT DANG, THAT'S GOOD!"
• Elisa Camahort Page seemingly trying to marry off the (adorable) Smollett brothers, Jake and Jocqui, at the charming food demo and keynote they did with their (equally adorable) sister, Jazz.
• Sharing a plane and a cab with the always-delightful Irvin Lin, who really impressed me at the Friday morning Lightning Lessons with his presentation about drawing creative inspiration from lots of different sources. He name-checked Beyonce's "Lemonade,""The Goldfinch," Buffy, sculptor Cornelia Parker and "Stranger Things," and so many more. I like his brain.
• My unofficial side trip to Torchy's Tacos, and the queso I am already trying to copy.
• Learning quick and easy tips on how to style food for Instagram—which I'll be sharing more of soon.
• Discovering among the conference sponsors a new favorite cocktail mixer: Owl's Brew, made with tea, and planning to make it the next time I play croquet (seems like a perfect match, no?).
• The absolutely gorgeous notes Kathy Phan took and shared:
  
  

  Productivity and Efficiency: Get More of the Important Stuff Done with@onceamonthmeals @geekypost @cookthestory#getitdone#BlogHerFood16pic.twitter.com/nqnHGiGl4e

  — Kathy Phan (@kathyphan) October 8, 2016

• Hearing (and yes, saying) several times that nothing's more important than sharing your own voice, opening your heart, and being real.
• Getting to tell everyone in the room on Friday morning about the project I've been working on: launching a community platform on SheKnows.com! Stay tuned for more information on that one next week.

We have Storified tweets from all the keynotes and most of the sessions for you; you'll see them at the bottom of the panel descriptions in the agenda. And if the session had slides, you'll find them at the top of those same descriptions. We'll also have audio of all the sessions and video of the keynotes coming soon.

And if you have a favorite moment to share, post it to the BlogHer Facebook page. (Note: Taco and queso recommendations for next time are greatly appreciated.)

Last week, we announced #BlogHer17 will be heading to Orlando, Florida, June 22-24, 2017. It has been quite a few years since I last visited Orlando, so I'm looking forward to seeing what The City of Beautiful has been up to since last I saw her.

You know what else I'm excited about? Session pitches, baby!

Our Call for Speakers and Ideas asks you to help build the final agenda for each of our conferences. Here's how you can submit yourself as a speaker, or someone else, or just a really good session idea you've been wishing you would see on our stage. Don't be shy! The BlogHer conferences are built around speakers and ideas from the community, so step up and own your expertise.

For #BlogHer17, we're looking for suggestions that fall under the following four themes:

• The Art & Science of Blogging: This theme can cover a lot of ground, such as online monetization, business skills, building high-value partnerships, and online and book publishing—as well as the art of storytelling and the craft of writing.
• Technology & Tools: Here's where we'll program sessions that focus on a variety of technologies and tools, such as audio/video, photography, social media tools, coding, live broadcasting, and SEO and SMO.
• Heart & Soul: At BlogHer events, there's always a place for people to share the passions and beliefs that often drive our online activities. This track can cover activism, politics, identity, and personal development.
• Health & Wellness: We're introducing this new theme as a nod to a topic that's seen the most growth and interest across our sites and community. It’s meant to tackle a lot of territory, such as fitness, nutrition, general wellness, self-care, mental health, living with a condition—and how we use the online world for support along all of these paths.

Every year, we receive hundreds of submissions, and we read every single one of them. We can only select fewer than 10 percent of ideas for the final program—and at that point, those ideas have gone through multiple review cycles with multiple people. I'm happy to provide a few tips for increasing the odds of having your idea selected.

Best practices for submitting your #BlogHer17 pitch:

• Be crystal clear about your session idea, and get to the point. Be very specific about what you intend to cover. Impress us with your programming idea first, and use the designated space only for that. The bio box is there for you to impress us with why YOU should present that idea. A lot of people really just pitch themselves as an expert, but leave it to us to figure out why. That is not the most successful approach, in our experience.
• Ask yourself if the idea you are submitting will be relevant by the time the conference rolls around. What was relevant when you submitted may not be so in nine months. Keep that in mind when you craft your pitch.
• Provide actionable takeaways the attendees can use right away. They should walk out of your session with homework, fired up to get started on all the great things you shared with them. Without key takeaways, your session idea will fall flat.
• It is not uncommon for many people to pitch very similar ideas. That shows us that there is a lot of interest around a theme—and it also means we often synthesize ideas from various submissions, and ask submitters to work together. That said: If you are proposing a panel with four speakers, don’t have each of the four speakers submit separately. It doesn’t amount to four votes, just one.

And if you're submitting a full panel of speakers for a session idea, be sure to think about these two things:

1. Indicate whether those other folks are just your great ideas, or people you have spoken to about co-presenting.
2. Submit a panel of diverse speakers. Think about diversity across many metrics, not just demographics (although demographics are important). But also think about bringing new voices to our stage, and providing varying viewpoints. Nothing is more boring than four people who look alike and think alike and speak alike, nodding heads as each of them talks!

You have until Wednesday, November 9 to submit your idea using the #BlogHer17 submissions form. I look forward to hearing from you and seeing you in Orlando in June. Also, make sure you register for #BlogHer17 now!

What a fantastic #BlogHerFood16! I recuperated from the conference by carrying on the tradition of digging through the swag bag with my teenage daughter, who quickly scooped up the cool yogurt container from conference sponsor Lentils (a conference favorite! I loved the Lentil Ladies!), while I fought hard to keep the Heluva Good selfie stick. Y'all, their dips are so great! What a fun company!

My other post-conference tradition is to reflect on the top lessons I learned. As this was my first #BlogHerFood conference and I attended as a volunteer, I picked up so much more than new recipes and fun sponsor giveaways. I also picked up a wealth of great advice (all documented on Twitter @theamysituation). #BlogHerFood16 truly delivered an unforgettable, valuable experience. Huge shout out to the sponsors and coordinators for a stellar event.

1. Success doesn't come overnight. You have to be willing to work hard and stay focused. This was a common theme during #BlogHerFood16. HungryGirl Lisa Lillien is working on her twelfth cookbook (yes, twelfth!), and though she's experienced tremendous career success, she noted it doesn't get easier. "It gets harder and harder as the competition gets stiffer and stiffer," said Lillien.

Lisa, Freddie Prinze, Jr., and Carla Hall.

2. Whatever you do, stay authentic. SheKnows Executive Editor Julie Ross Godar kicked off the opening keynote with the theme of authenticity. "Speak from the heart," said Godar. Award-winning chef and "The Chew" co-host Carla Hall echoed that sentiment at the closing keynote, confessing that fame wasn't on her radar, and that now that she's achieved success and notoriety, "My prayer every day is authenticity." said Hall, "It's so much easier to be yourself."

3. Don't take "no" for an answer. Actor and cookbook author Freddie Prinze, Jr. could easily moonlight as a motivational speaker. At the closing keynote, Prinze offered terrific nuggets of advice, with a primary message of perseverance and facing your fears. "Allow the word 'no' to be something that pushes you forward."

4. To be a pro, you have to adopt pro habits. Fact check. Give proper attributions, especially where sponsors are concerned. Need an amazing resource to learn more? Check out SheKnows Media's SVP of Influencer Marketing Susan Getgood's Lightning Lesson on FTC disclosure.

5. Be thoughtful when considering which partners you select. This was a key theme in several sessions, where speakers cautioned against taking sponsorships without considering why. (Are you a vegan food blogger? Might not want to partner with a cheese company. You get the idea.) Chief Community Officer of SheKnows Media and overall Energizer Bunny Elisa Camahort Page said it best: "You don't need THE A-list, you need YOUR A-list."

6. Healthful eating doesn't have to be costly. In the #EatCookHealthy session on The Latest in Healthy Eating , Cooking, and Recipe Development, registered dietitian and health advocate Ashley Koff offered valuable tips to reducing food waste ("All hail the freezer!") and reducing food costs. "You can reduce the price in your food system when you buy things in their most simple form," said Koff. Coolinary Kitchen's Natalie Cruz noted that organic isn't for everyone. "Health means trying to improve one's life, not necessarily eating organic," said Cruz. "Eat within your means."

7. Don't miss The Pitch. Hands-down, my favorite sessions at BlogHer16 was The Pitch. The energy and enthusiasm of the four amazing contestants was infectious, and I don't know about you, but I had a hard time figuring out who would earn my vote. In the end, I voted for the winner, Martha Pincoffs of The Hot Dang, an Austin-based company that makes grain burgers. Her vibe was so positive, and I love that she committed to eating locally-sourced foods at home for an entire year, something we all know comes with a ton of hard work but priceless benefits.

Jennifer Denton with Martha at The Pitch: Food Edition

8. Network, network, network! Of course I'm happy that I scooped up more Twitter followers and blog subscribers during the conference, but even more, I loved getting to know so many interesting people who have such a wide variety of passions. A few of my favorites:

• Her Modern Kitchen. Alyssa is an Austin-based blogger with gorgeous photos and recipes. Check her out!
• Ayinde Howell: I'm so glad I was assigned to live tweet "The Lusty Vegan" author Ayinde's session, and that I arrived early to see what a true professional he is. I observed him setting up early, treating the hotel food staff with kindness, and making everyone feel at ease. He's also hilarious, and his vegan crab cake with hearts of palm was so good I can't wait to try making it at home myself.
• Karyn Martin of 451 Marketing. I'm a huge fan already. She spoke in the session Working With Brands, and gave really great advice on authenticity: "Know who you are, know who you aren't, and don't deviate from that." After her session, I asked for 5 minutes with Karyn to ask about building an audience, and not only did she give me terrific advice, she gave me twice the time I asked for. (Note: Asking for a speaker's time is a delicate art; be sure not to be pushy and respect their time).

9. Live is everything. At the session on Live Broadcasting: New Ways to Create a Cooking Show, Ayinde Howell taught great tips on how to use Facebook Live to reach a larger audience. A few of his key tips: Create a schedule and stick to it. Do what your viewers ask. Start on time. (And dance!)

10. "You all, the bloggers, are the influencers." Carla Hall reminded us at the closing keynote that we, the bloggers, have the influence on the audiences that make a difference. (Then she told a hilarious story and slid right out of her chair.) By keeping this in mind, we should push ourselves to provide the highest quality work we can offer. It's an exciting responsibility, isn't it?

Until next year, bloggers!

Amy
@theamysituation
theamysituation.com

Carla Hall is just an all-around awesome person. She's awesome on TV as one of the hosts of "The Chew," and "Top Chef" fans remember her as the fan favorite who cooked with love. Earlier this month, she was utterly charming and warm at the #BlogHerFood16 conference as the moderator of a discussion about becoming a celebrity chef with Freddie Prinze, Jr., and Lisa Lillien. She also hung out the conference all weekend, taking notes and posing for pictures.

Her "cook with love" philosophy led her to culinary school and several cookbooks, and she just launched her first restaurant, Carla Hall's Southern Kitchen in Brooklyn. I chatted with Carla recently about her surprising career path, her "woo-woo" philosophy, and how she found success by saying "yes."

You went from CPA to model to celebrity chef. What did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be an actress! But I didn't get into Boston University, where I wanted to go to conservatory. I ended up at Howard University, because that's where my sister was going. I liked my accounting teacher, so I said, "Well, if I can't do theater in Boston, I guess I'll major in accounting."

I actually love numbers, and puzzles. I still love a good spreadsheet. But I got to the point where I was hating my job. I didn't want to be 40 and hate my job. So I quit, and moved to Paris, and was modeling. I had started modeling at Howard. I just kept saying "yes" to experiences. I encourage people to do that. Say yes, and figure it out.

I was the opposite of you! I was a theater major, and moved to New York and did that whole starving-actor thing. I went to a 40th birthday party for an "actor" who hadn't gone on an audition in ten years, and thought, "This can't be me at 40." So I moved home, and got a job doing accounting!

I can't believe it!

How long did you live in Europe?

About two and a half years. My mother got sick, so I came back home. Once she was okay, it was time for me to figure out what I wanted to do. I started a lunch delivery service in '91, which was a complete fluke. I had done the food for my sister's baby shower. I told a friend I'd bring her leftovers. I saw a picnic basket that I threw the food into. I went to her work and she said, "This is my friend Carla, and she has a business." And then every day, I made sandwiches and salads and went door to door. And I did that for five years.

Then you decided to go to culinary school. How did you like working at restaurants, versus running your own business?

I enjoyed the structure. I enjoyed getting a paycheck. Running a business, you're paying others but there's very little left for yourself.

What motivated you to become a contestant on "Top Chef?"

One night, my sous chef told me she had a dream I was on "Top Chef." And that same night, I got a voicemail saying, "Hey, I'm calling from Magical Elves." I thought it was a crank call, because what are the odds? So I wasn't going to call them back. But I had the same message on another number. It was crazy! I didn't seek it out.

And when they called me and said, "You've been selected," I was like, "Oh no, I can't do it." Because my biggest fear is being judged. America saw me face my fear and get over it. At the judges' table, during Restaurant Wars. I thought I was going home. And I realized, "I can get through this. No one has ever died at the judges' table." It was at that point that I started to do better in the competition, because when you're on the top you get feedback, and when you're on the bottom you get feedback, but when you're in the middle you get nothing. And I started getting hungry for this feedback. And that's when everything turned for me.

On the All-Stars season you did, you were a fan favorite. Your personality clicked for people. I love your philosophy of cooking with love, that how you feel when you're cooking translates into the food. It's kind of woo-woo, and I'm not always woo-woo, but I believe that. Did you always have that philosophy?

It does sound woo-woo, but when I look back at my life and about how I met my husband, I believe everything is a lesson. I was on Match for only a week and we met. And that was the man I ended up marrying.

You're not going to believe it, Carla, but I also met my husband on Match, and I also just did a one-week trial.

WHAT? YOU ARE MY SISTER!

So you opened a restaurant, and you used Kickstarter. People don't realize how much work it is to make those things work. What inspired you to go that way?

People think because you're on television and have cookbooks, it makes life and opportunities a lot easier. It doesn't. The decision to do Kickstarter was my business partner's, but I knew if people knew I was doing this, there was no way I'd back out. My Kickstarter backers were my community of believers and supporters. It was so much work, and I cried when we made our goal.

So now, you've been on "The Chew" for five years. Does it film in LA?

It films in New York. It's one of the most fun jobs. The first two seasons were incredibly difficult. On "Top Chef," there's a camera catching everything you're doing, but you're not talking to the camera—you're just doing what you're doing. But when you're hosting a talk show, you're talking to the camera, cooking, interviewing, connecting with the audience.

I love to teach, and I've taught hundreds of cooking classes. I knew I was having a disconnect doing the cooking demos, and that what I was projecting to the audience wasn't the person I usually am when I teach. Every day, I thought I was going to get fired.

But five years in, you're feeling pretty confident.

My moment was in season four. Gladys Knight had come on. She was cooking with Michael Symon, and he made a smothered chicken dish. As a Southern woman from the '60s, who had been listening to this woman for decades, I thought it was a slap in the face. I was so upset that I called a meeting with the executive producers. I told them that either they didn't trust me to do that interview, or they didn’t think that it would be important for me to do it. And either way, I needed to share my frustration with them. Because if I was going to be fired, I didn’t want to sit at home and say, "I wish I had said it." At the end of all of that, the executive producers clapped their hands and said, "Thank you. Now we can get to work." It was really about me, and coming into my own authentic self.

And from then on, you noticed a change.

Absolutely. And my performance changed, too. Now, every day I go to work, my prayer is authenticity. That's the only thing I can offer that no one can take from me.

This is an edited version of a conversation I had with Carla, which was originally published on SheKnows.com. To hear the full talk (and to hear conversations with other awesome women), listen to the Who SheKnows podcast.