Bloggers know that there are certain "rules" to blogging that lead to increased traffic and interaction with readers.  Yet sometimes, when making that additional step to becoming a vlogger, we forget that the same rules apply. Creating a YouTube channel and simply posting videos won't bring you the traffic you desire any more than creating content and posting it without any interaction or promotion will work for your blog.

Taking the same rules we apply to blogging will not only increase your channel’s views and shares but your subscribers as well, which in turn increases your channel’s impact with brands. How? Let me share a few ways with you.

Rule One: Subscribe

What do we all do when we come across a blog that we know we want to keep up with and never miss a post from? Subscribe. We subscribe to their site by email, newsletter, or RSS feed.  However we do it, we make sure that we know when that blogger posts. By doing this, we let that blogger know "I like you and what you are doing," and this makes that blogger that much more likely to keep writing as well as return the love.

The same applies to being a vlogger. Be active. Subscribe to fellow vloggers' channels. You will see their newest videos on your "What To Watch" list, and you will have the opportunity to know what is going on with them. This will also let that vlogger know that you want to get to know them as a vlogger and what their channel has to offer you as a viewer. In turn, they may return to your site and offer you the same subscriber support.

Rule Two: Watch

The same way that you read your favorite blogger's posts faithfully, you should watch your favorite vlogger's videos. By watching their videos, you not only give their channel additional views but you get to know them as a vlogger, a person, and a brand the same way reading a fellow blogger’s content allows you to get to know them as a writer and their site as a brand.

Just as a blogger’s site thrives from views and engagement, a vlogger’s channel is impacted greatly by the amount of views they have. Views mean that people are watching. People watching means their influence has increased, and it encourages them to make another video.

Rule Three: Comment

Did you know you can comment directly on a YouTube vlog as you would on a blog post?  You can and you should. I know as bloggers that we all love when we get those comment notifications because it means that what we wrote had an impact. The person reading it had a reaction and was kind enough to share it with us. They are offering us feedback that can help improve and encourage our future content.

Commenting on a video does the same thing. When you leave a comment on a vlogger’s video, you let them know that what they said meant something and that you could either relate or it reached you in some way. Your video comments help a vlogger understand what they may need to change, adjust,  or keep the same for future videos. In all situations, your comments are valuable!

Rule Four: Support, Share, and Promote

What’s the first thing you do after you read a post you like? Share it. Pin, Tweet, Facebook, Google+:  whichever you choose you get the word out and state to your followers, “This is great content, and I think you should check it out too!”

You can do the same thing for your favorite vlogger’s video. Just as a blog has share buttons,  YouTube offers a convenient way for you to share a video on many different social media networks with one simple click. Doing this will offer that vlogger the same support that you give bloggers everyday.

Don’t let your channel rely solely on your viewers doing the promotional work.  Just as you share and promote your blog posts, you should schedule the same attention to your vlog content as well.

Rule Five: Be Consistent

Bloggers know that staying present with their readers is essential to maintaining their support and turning them into followers. An occasional reader may visit your site every once in a while to see what you’re up to, but a follower looks forward to all of your content and reads all your posts. By establishing a regular posting schedule, you give them something to rely on.

This can be beneficial as a vlogger as well. When you have a schedule to your video publishing, you give your viewers the opportunity to "tune in regularly." They know when you post and how often they can look forward to new content.

As with anything, be careful not to set yourself up for a downfall in either of these situations. Be careful when posting at set times, dates, and frequency for posts on both a blog and vlog. If you promise your followers and subscribers something every Thursday at 6pm and life happens, you may loose a few people.

Instead I would suggest to simply do it. If you are there every week, your followers and viewers will be too.  Allow yourself wiggle room with the posting date in case you can’t post until Friday instead of Thursday one week.  Make your posts weekly, but don't box yourself into one day. This leads to less disappointment from your viewers.

Have you ventured beyond your URL and started to vlog on a regular basis? How have you approached making your channel a success?  Do you support fellow Vloggers as you would a fellow blogger?

MrsTeeLoveLifeLaughter

"Where Love Life and Laughter Collide to Make

a Collage of Happiness"

I've gotten a lot of questions about how I maintain my weight and what kind of diet I follow, so today we're going to talk a little about logging food and how it works for me and might (or might not) work for you.

I've mentioned it before on the blog, but I use a great app to help me hold myself accountable— My Fitness Pal.

I wanted to write this because I get mixed reactions from people when I tell them I log my food and exercise: "But you don't need to keep track of what you eat, you're already thin"; "I thought you said you don't diet"; "So, you gonna log that last slice of pizza?"

Or when friends express interest in losing weight and I recommend MFP: "I don't want to keep track of what I eat— I just want to eat better"; "That just seems too obsessive for me."

I have a slightly different philosophy when it comes to tracking my food. I don't believe that logging food has to be the same as restricting food. Sometimes I count the 1400 calories I ate that day, other times I count the 2200 calories I ate that day. I've found over the years that I'm most comfortable somewhere between 1500-1800 a day depending on how hungry I feel and how active I am.

Now, I'm not an expert in any way or a registered dietitian/nutritionist, but I do know what works for me. I also need to stress that what works for me might not work for you. That said, I want to address some of the comments on using a "calorie counting" app and use it to illustrate some pros and cons of this type of system.

"But you don't need to keep track of what you eat, you're already thin."

Well, I'm not thin by magic, I promise you. No, I don't follow a strict diet, but I can't eat whatever I want all the time and stay this size. Very few people can, and they are freaks of nature. There was a time when I was a bottomless pit and skinny as a rail (and by "a time" I mean when I was 16 years old), but as I've gotten older my body has naturally changed and it takes work to maintain a weight that's not only healthy and realistic, but that I feel great at. Those of you in your early 20s who read this blog, you've been warned. It doesn't last, and it does require effort to maintain a healthy weight.

PRO: Learn what foods give you the most energy and finding a calorie goal you can stick with comfortably.

"I thought you said you don't diet."

I don't diet. I log the pizza, the wine, the pasta, the bread, the olive oil I dip my bread into, and the chocolate. The beauty of tracking calories this way is that you can learn balance— no foods are off-limits, but you may need to make some adjustments later to stay on track and still indulge in things you love.

PRO:There are no "forbidden" foods or food groups

"You gonna log that last slice of pizza?"

Yep ...

CON/PRO: If you stick to it, you need to log everything. Accountability can be great, but it can also give you a rude reality check. My dinners often look like the one above ... except usually with more wine.

"I don't want to keep track of everything I eat— I just want to eat better."

Sadly, most people don't know what that means. Just because you ordered a salad doesn't mean you ate healthier than someone who ordered a steak. See this perfect example from the nutrition calculator on the Outback Steakhouse website:

Beyond the fact that the salad has more calories, it also has way more sodium and saturated fat. The steak, on the other hand, is higher in protein and fiber. Knowledge is power, people.

PRO: Using a tracking app can help you educate yourself about what you're really eating.

It's not about staying under the calorie goal. There will always be times when I go over, but the goal of using a tracking app (for me, at least) is to become educated about what I'm eating. Beyond just calories, I like to see if I'm getting enough vitamins, potassium, fiber, etc. It's a lot easier to keep track of that stuff if I can log it somewhere and take a look at the end of the day.

"That just seems too obsessive for me."

And here enters the biggest CON of logging your food. For some people, logging your food can become obsessive and could turn into a real problem. I don't recommend using MFP for anyone who has a history of an eating disorder or an unhealthy relationship with food. There is no "magic number" for calories and expecting an app to give it to you is unrealistic.

Logging my food is great for me because I LIKE numbers. I enjoy collecting data and figuring out what it means for me. Analyzing my ratio of carbs/protein/fat is interesting because it helps me make better decisions in the future.

The reason MFP works for me is that I separate the "numbers game" from reality. At the end of the day, food is just food. If I go over my sugar goal or calorie goal for one day, it doesn't ruin my week. I'm not going to skip dinner because I met my calorie "goal" by 2:00 PM. What it does, though, is help me to live a lifestyle that follows the 80/20 rule so I can be healthy, but also live a little. It's also a way to educate myself on the foods I like to eat and how certain foods affect my mood and energy.

I realize that many people might not agree with me on the validity or usefulness of tracking apps. I'm not affiliated with My Fitness Pal in any way, in case you were wondering. I just got it because it was the highest rated free app on iTunes. I'm definitely interested in hearing your thoughts or experiences on logging food and/or counting calories!

What are your thoughts of food tracking apps?

Vietnamese rice paper rolls are healthy and oh so delicious. They will forever remind me of visiting my sister when she worked in the seminary building at Multnomah University. I used to go visit her all the time and we would go get these rice paper wraps for lunch dates and we absolutely loved them. The great thing with Vietnamese food is it also fills you up. Long gone are the days of visiting my sister at work but new are the days for lunch dates with homemade chicken avocado spring rolls. :)

Ingredients:

• Rice paper
• Chicken, shredded
• Rice, cooked
• Avocado
• Carrots
• Cucumbers
• Fresh bbasil
• Lettuce
• Soy, teriyaki or sweet chile sauce

Fully submerge rice paper in lukewarm water for a good 30 seconds or until soft, sticky and pliable. Using a plate works just great. Transfer to a dry surface.

I used my cutting board and stretched out the rice paper to compile vegetables on.

Layer rice, chicken, lettuce, carrots, cucumbers, basil and avocado.

Fold up the short ends as you would a burrito and than roll tightly from one end to the next.

Dip your spring rolls in teriyaki sauce, soy sauce or sweet chili sauce. 

Serve with Roasted Cabbage as a side. Yummy yum yum! This meal is one of my favorites. 

For more recipes, DIY, stories and life, go to: www.delightfullydoable.com 

I am not a deeply religious person, but I do believe in the Holy Trinity:  The Today Show, TheDr. Oz  Show and TheEllen DeGeneres Show.  I wish I could lie and tell you I get all my up-to-the minute information from Wolf Blitzer or Rachel Maddow.  It could be worse, though, I could worship before the altars of Maury Povitch, Montel Williams or Jerry Springer. But it’s still embarrassing to admit.  Maybe there is a support group for people like me.

Image: Warner Bros

Me:  Hi, I’m Amy and on the next episode of…I mean, I watch too much daytime television.

TVA’s (television addicts anonymous):  C’mon down, Amy.  You’re the next person to tell us your sad tale.

I started out with the less addictive stuff early on.  You know, a little Electric Company, a little SesameStreet.  It was all innocent fun.  And then it became more hard core.  All My Children in high school morphed into General Hospital in college.  All My Children was my soap of choice, but my roommates all watched Luke and Laura so I tried it.  And I was hooked.  That lasted until I had to enter the real world and we only had VCR’s.  For all I know, I taped General Hospital once I was a working girl, but I truly don’t remember and, even if I did, I’m sure I would never have been able to find the taped episodes with all that fast forwarding and rewinding going on. 

So life was busy and then kids came along and it got even busier and before you know it, I was back to children’s daytime programming.  Only this time it was Blue’s Clues and Dora the Explorer.  I tried to get my kids to watch Oscar the Grouch and Mr. Rogers, but they preferred those mutant Teletubbies.  For some reason, Po saying “Eh oh”   sounded way weirder than Scooby saying “Rut Ro”.  The 70’s were just simpler times, that’s all I’m saying.    

And then a very bad thing came on the market.  They were selling them everywhere so I succumbed:  DVR’s.  Bad because now I could feed my addiction any time of the day or night with a simple touch of a button.  Slowly I began “taping” shows.  Just the first hour of The Today Show.  That’s all I really needed, I told myself.  That first hour is when the hard-hitting news is on.  The second hour wasn’t necessary.  Until it was.  And before I knew it, I was taping the second hour AND the third hour.  And then I hit rock bottom:  I began taping Hoda and Kathie Lee.  Four hours of that show.  No one needs to watch four hours of anything and that includes home movies and old VCR footage of your wedding day. 

I needed help and I needed it bad.  Four hours of The Today Show, followed by an hour of Ellen DeGeneres every day.  Things seemed dire.  I tried adding in another day at the gym thinking that would help but my problem just followed me.  Every day Matt Lauer and Savannah Guthrie were yucking it up on the television high above my treadmill.  I felt like I was doomed until I realized it wasn’t as bad as it seemed:  I don’t play Candy Crush, I gave up Scrabble with Friends, and I haven’t watched one episode of Orange is the New Black.  

I’m happy to report that the Summer Rerun Detox Program seems to be working after all.  No Ellen and just a small dose of Dr. Oz.  It’s been a hard pill to swallow, but I may finally be on the road to recovery.  That is until Fall rolls around.  Stay tuned.

My friend, Cara, has long, silky gray hair. Her hair is beautiful — she is beautiful — in her natural state.

Tallulah, another of my friends, also beautiful, is completely gray and hides that fact by dyeing her hair a color that matches, as closely as possible, the color she once was: striking brunette.

My mother-in-law, on the other hand, has not been seen with a strand of gray in her hair since she entered middle age. My husband barely remembers her as a brunette. She makes frequent visits to the salon, and is, I believe, what’s called a “bottle blonde.” Yet she’s confided in me that she’d like to let herself go gray but that her husband, my father-in-law, prefers her blonde and, in his eyes, is therefore more youthful-looking.

When my own strands of gray started coming in, I swore to myself that I would never dye my hair to hide them. I was middle-aged and OK with that fact. I knew a lot more about life than I had in my 20s, and that seemed a good trade-off. But then I got a few more such hairs, and a few more. I wasn’t completely gray, but those gray hairs were definitely visible — at least to me, if no one else. And despite my strong belief in “going natural” and not hiding what you have become or are becoming, I didn’t like those pesky new hairs. I held on for a while, though. I let those peek-a-boo strands show, although I was secretly (or maybe not so secretly) thrilled when my girlfriends said to me, “What are you talking about? I don’t see any gray at all!”

But I grew angry toward myself for being so thrilled. I felt superficial because I cared so much about my looks, couldn’t face the inevitable, and was allowing the “male-driven patriarchy” to define me, blah blah blah! Wasn’t I supposed to accept myself as I truly was, without artifice or trickery? Was I trying to live up to some impossible, idealized version of myself? And wasn’t I prouder of those friends of mine who hadn’t succumbed to societal pressure and who felt terrific with their totally natural, untouched gray tresses than I was of myself?

One friend, Roslyn, showed me photos of herself pre-gray, before I knew her (she’d been a redhead). I swear she’s more beautiful now, looking more grounded, wise and capable, as a “grayhead.” And when I looked at men, I was always happier to see an overtly bald, or balding man, rather than one with a comb-over or a toupee.

Image: BobMical

My mother had straight brown hair that turned silver, and she left it that way. In her final years, she sported a chin-length bob, like a '20s movie star, and the cut made the silver shine. I loved her looks, but as for me, my hair falls to my collarbone, and it’s wavy and delicately fine, not straight like hers. My gray strands still only play peek-a-boo and have not covered my whole head. Yet to my own surprise, I suspect, more than to anyone else’s, I have succumbed to pressures both external and internal, and for the past few years, I’ve been getting a treatment at the salon that’s called “full highlights.” It intersperses a blonde color with the rest of my brown and occasionally gray hair. It’s meant to look natural and as though my hair is having itself a grand old time boasting three different colors while minimizing the gray. Superficial as I may be, highlights make me feel better about myself.

What will I do should I go completely gray? Highlights won’t work then. Will I follow my mother-in-law’s footsteps and go completely blonde (or maybe even red, if I want to be really bold!)? My husband swears he will find me beautiful in gray or any other color. Or will I follow my mother’s footsteps and be silvery and bobbed, hearkening to an earlier fashion? I can’t predict now because I certainly had never predicted I’d become a “highlights girl.” Whatever I do, I trust that my friends and family, with their own broad spectrum of hair color choices, will accept me and feel proud of me for following my (I admit it — growing-older) heart.

Originally published on Purple Clover.

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• Do You Recognize These Megastars?
• The Bold and The Beautiful: 20 Middle-Aged Nude Seens
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Today, I am finally able to reveal the details behind the Closing Party for our 10th anniversary event, and it will be epic!

We're thrilled that our longtime (six years running, thank you very much!) partner McDonald's is back to make the entire party possible. And they are pulling out all the stops.

Photo Source: McDonald's

McDonald's is helping us take over and transform an outdoor space two blocks from the convention center, creating an outdoor concert, dance party, generally awesome space in which to chill with your old and new friends, watch the sunset, dance your butts off and send BlogHer '14 out in appropriate style!

The headliner? Rev. Run, the famous frontman of legendary hip-hop group Run-DMC.

Run-D.M.C. was the first hip-hop act to have a gold album, a platinum album, a multi-platinum album, an MTV video, and a Grammy nomination, and only the second to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. With more than four million Twitter followers, Rev. Run is no stranger to social media, either. He’ll be kicking off BlogHer’s dance party, and staying until until we close the place down!

Photo Source: McDonald's

If your interest is more in sitting, chilling, and eating, never fear. McDonald's will be serving Happy Meals, smoothies, and YES, french fries!). Plus, McDonald's will be offering salads, with the dressings on the side, as well.

And we have two cocktail sponsors for libations: Geyser Peak Winery will be serving great California wines, and Eppa SupraFruta Sangria will be serving their signature drink.

So we'll be sipping sangria, watching the sun set, and then letting our hair down on the dance floor, thanks to our partner McDonald's. Please join me in thanking them for their years of support for this community with the hashtag #McDBlogHer.

Photo Source: McDonald's

Thank you, McDonald's.

And this is a great time to share a list of all of our official and sanctioned party sponsors for BlogHer '14, and thank each and every official BlogHer sponsor. Our partners deliver unique experiences. They keep our blogger ticket rates low. They are an integral part of the entire, rich BlogHer Conference experience. We hope you will join us in thanking them for their support of the event, and by extension the full community. We could not do any conference without them. 

Official BlogHer '14 Event List

[If you do not see an event on this list, it is an outboard event*.]

ALL events at the San Jose Convention Center are sanctioned by us. We will be opening up RSVPs for about 10 events in the next day or two, so stay tuned!

As previously announced in our Party Plan, here are have some awesome sponsored Open House Suite Parties on Friday night at the Hilton:

• Community member Leah Peterson is attending as a sponsor for the first time (Go Leah!) with her Flawed But Authentic Suite, open throughout the conference, taking headshots and sharing the benefits of essential oils.

• California Women Lead, a non-partisan, issue-neutral organization encouraging women to take leadership positions in their communities... perfect inspiration for our community of online leaders.

• GoldieBlox, engineering toys for girls...I'm guessing their suite may be the most "playful" place at the conference.

• SheBooks, a new innovative eBook publishing and distribution platform focused on women authors, and rolling out an affiliate program to boot.

And here is the list of the other sanctioned, official parties happening at, near, and around our venues:

• Disney screening of The Hundred Foot Journey Friday evening (RSVP to Marshall.Weinbaum@disney.com)

• Emily's List with a Friday afternoon Happy Hour (Info here)

• Eppa's SupraFruta Sangria (Sundown Soiree before the Evening at the Expo on Thursday afternoon, currently full)

• Merck for Mothers with a Thursday afternoon event before Evening at the Expo at the Fairmont Hotel [RSVPs to officially open also in the next day or two]

• The Baby Ladies Baby Shower (Submit interest here)

*Side note: This list of wonderful sponsors and event is so important to us because as some of you may remember, in the past BlogHer (like other conferences) has suffered when brands piggyback on BlogHer's event without actually supporting the majority of attendees, in a practice known in the events industry as "outboarding." You can read our perspective on outboarding in a post I wrote about it last summer. You can also read about what conference organizers from Mom 2.0, NMX/TBEX, and Type A Parent think. The brands and agencies represented above showed up, worked with us, and have made a huge difference this year.

Please have fun visiting our sponsors at their events and at the Expo Hall. And please join us in thanking them.

And them come dance with us!

Elisa Camahort Page
BlogHer
elisa@blogher.com
My BlogHer profile truly shows you everything I do online...Check it out!!

The other day, I found myself at the entrance of Target with the task of buying a birthday present for the party that started in half and hour, along with picking up a few basic necessities, such as coffee, laundry detergent and toilet paper.

“Can we go to the toy aisle?”

“Yeah! Can we look around?”

“Mmm hmm,” I mumbled, as I ticked off the fastest route through the store. “Go ahead.”

I looked up a half-second later to see my tweens still standing there.

“You can go by yourself,” I smiled through gritted teeth.

“Can you come with us?” my 9-year-old pouted.

“No!” I answered, shooing them away. “Go! Just go by yourself!”

Feeling a tap on my shoulder, I turned around to find a large man in a white polo shirt. Busted by store security.

Image: Commander, US 7th Fleet

From strip mall to mini-mart, I see them: mothers trying to run errands with their kids. They are like mama ducks, but instead of being followed by fluffy yellow ducklings, they are trailed by moping pre-teens.

“I like that!” the man laughed, giving me a hearty thumbs up. “I feel like saying that to my kids all the time. Just go by yourself!” He walked away, chuckling. The man wasn’t a security guard, just another parent tired of dragging sulking children through a big box store. At the time, I was mortified. This is how people end up on reality shows or ‘gotcha’ YouTube videos of moms behaving badly. But as I’ve been running around town doing errands this week, I realize I’m not alone.

From strip mall to mini-mart, I see them: mothers trying to run errands with their kids. They are like mama ducks, but instead of being followed by fluffy yellow ducklings, they are trailed by moping pre-teens. These “kids” are as tall as their mothers, but weigh half as much; their shoulders are slumped with the resignation of suburban youth who are forced to march through air conditioned aisles of cereal and toothpaste. Anything would be better than this, their eyes tell me, even pre-algebra class.

Years ago, my boys were pros at shopping. They’d push their mini-carts to the bakery counter, tilt their long lashes, and ask, “Cookie?” Now they are too big for the toy shopping carts, and I stock our pantry while they are in class or at one of their many practices. But when our schedule slows down during the summer, I try to take them to the market. Some people are worried their children don’t know food comes from a farm. I’m not sure mine even know food comes from a store. But incidents like the one at Target remind me that sometimes, if you want to get something done, you have to do it yourself.

A few days later, I left my kids at home and went to the supermarket. It was a busy afternoon, and there were exactly three shopping carts left in the bay. I felt an elbow in my side, as a gangly middle schooler pushed past me to grab the one cart that sitting by itself. As I struggled to pull apart two locked carts, I looked at the boy. “Do you think you can give me a hand?”

Blank stare.

“You know, grab the end of that shopping cart, and I’ll pull this one?”

He half-heartedly put his hand on the metal edge, then shrugged and walked away.

Forget it. I’ll do it myself.

A moment later, the same boy was by my side again, head still hung down.

“You go and ask that lady, ‘Can I give you a hand?’” his mother ordered. “Offer to help her! I’m so sorry about him.”

It was my turn to laugh.

“Don’t worry, I have a son his age, too.”

Originally published on mom.me

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• Child Stars Who Are Now Moms
• If You Love Someone, Set Them Free and Other Lies
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The other day my 22-year old daughter attended her first baby shower for a friend. When she asked me for some gift suggestions; having absolutely no idea that a sippy cup was not something found at a college frat party, it made me realize how long it had been since I'd been to a baby shower.  It got me to thinking about my "go to" baby gifts from years ago and it made me nostalgic for my own babies.

Looking through the registries in shock and awe at all of the gadgets we somehow raised our children without benefit of, I am reminded just how much I miss holding, rocking, singing and most pleasing to me, reading to an infant.

Recalling those joyous hours spent reading to my babies, convinced my daughter to purchase my "go to" baby shower gift; a very carefully chosen, very well-loved collection of "must have" baby books.

Here are our family favorites; and in our opinion, prerequisites for the perfect childhood:  (And maybe I can start reading them to the next generation soon?  Hopefully?)

1.  Pat The Bunny, by Dorothy Kunhardt:  A perfectly lovely interactive book for kids.  Scratch daddy's beard and pat the bunny!

2.  Babies, by Gyo Fujikawa:  Shows us all the sweet and the not so perfect life of babies.  My older kids loved to read this one to their younger siblings.

3. Goodnight Moon, by Margaret Wise Brown:  The one book my third child insisted upon every night for 4 years straight.  To say it was "read by heart" has multiple meanings...

4.  We Were Tired Of Living In A House, by Liesel Moak Skorpen:  I quoted from this book for my eldest son's 8th grade yearbook.  It's a sentimental and visually stunning look at the adventure and the joy of childhood.

5.  Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are, by Dr. Seuss:  Ah the poetry.  It's funny, fantastic and a lesson about gratitude.  I chose this book several times when asked to read to my kids' classes.

6.  The Monster At The End Of This Book, by Jon Stone:  The thrill!  The mystery!  The laughs!  What is Grover so afraid of?

7.  Eloise At The Plaza, by Kay Thompson:  Iconic, and oh so girly.  When you have read it over and over again, go to the Plaza, have tea and see Eloise herself!

8.  Madeline, by Ludwig Bemelmans:  All those lovely girls all in rows.  The illustrations are imprinted in my memory.  Later, head to The Carlyle Hotel in NYC to Bemelmans Bar and see the drawings all over the walls.  It's awesome.

9. Where the Wild Things Are, by Maurice Sendak:  The imaginings of childhood redemption; sent to bed without dinner and made a king, all without leaving your bedroom.  Good show!

10.  Are You My Mother, by P.D. Eastman:  A simple book about the simplest, truest thing on earth.  A mother knows her child no matter what and will find her no matter what.  True love.

11.  Make Way For Ducklings, by Robert McClosky: The story of parental love and family with illustrations that warm the heart.  A classic for all ages.

12.  Winnie-The-Pooh, by A. A. Milne:  The introduction to Winnie The Pooh , Piglet, Christopher Robin et al.  The poetry of childhood.  No need to say more, except to say, you should read all the rest in the series as well...

13.  The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein: Unconditional love and the beauty of giving; all taught through stunning illustrations.

14.  Robert The Rose Horse, by Joan Heilbroner:  The story about the horse with allergies who saves the day. It made my little sister cry every time.  Achoo.

15.  Green Eggs and Ham, by Dr. Seuss:  Never, ever, ever give up! You'll never know unless you try!  Lessons for a lifetime all taught in a wildy fun way.

What are your favorite family books?  Are some of the same on your lists?

Every single list of advice you'll read about attending BlogHer '14 will include some variation on this line: Have an elevator pitch. Perfect your elevator pitch. Practice your elevator pitch. Own your elevator pitch. Be your elevator pitch. Which is all fine and dandy, except no one seems to be telling people how to create an elevator pitch. Womp womp.

We discussed some ideas on the BlogHer Editorial Team. First and foremost, we'll define an elevator pitch for you:

An elevator pitch, elevator speech, or elevator statement is a short summary used to quickly and simply define a person, profession, product, service, organization or event and its value proposition.

The name "elevator pitch" reflects the idea that it should be possible to deliver the summary in the time span of an elevator ride, or approximately thirty seconds to two minutes[...]

So, in short, your elevator pitch at BlogHer will tell other bloggers, brands, and interested parties what you blog about and potentially why you blog about it in 30 seconds to two minutes. But no pressure. We promise.

The truth is that you already know what you blog about, you just second guess yourself when asked this question. Stop second guessing. Own your blog, your why, and your description of it all. Read on through some tips from our team to help get your elevator pitch in order for San Jose!

Credit: takomabibelot.

Credit: m01229.

An elevator pitch is what your blog is about in a nutshell, what you’d literally tell people in an elevator. Must be completely natural and relatable and conversational and understandable right away.

A tagline is something memorable that says MORE about your blog, that you’d put on your banner, biz card, logo but would likely be too crafted to sound right just saying out loud.

Credit: inthe-arena..

No one is "just" anything. You aren't just a mommy blogger or a lifestyle blogger or a DIY blogger. When I hear someone say their blog is "just a [fill in the blank]" I hear them telling me that they don't think their story is important -- that they aren't important.. Your blog is unique because it is yours and no one else can tell your story. Embrace it. Celebrate it. And eliminate just from your blog pitch vocabulary.

Credit: stevensnodgrass.

Do you have a mission statement for your blog? What's your reason? Your why for turning to your blog to write, to share, to put words out into the universe? Who are you writing these words for? Yourself? Your kids? The greater public? Your mom? Think about all of these things as you craft your perfect elevator pitch.

Credit: matsuyuki.

Okay, so your blog isn't like space camp for dogs, but it's like something. Is it like a personal journal, diary, beginnings of a memoir? Is it like the first draft of a really funny book? Is it like lemon chiffon something or other that makes my mouth water just asking the question? I bet it's like lemon chiffon, isn't it? You're my new best friend. Please hand me your business card.

Credit: andrn2006.

Most importantly, realize that if someone asks you what your blog is about, they are interested. Yes, I know that one time that someone was a big meanie-face and was trying to make eye contact with the Super Famous Blogger across the room while pretending to be interested in your blog. But really? If I ask what your blog is about, I really, really want to know. I want to talk to you about writing and your space and how long you've been doing this and what keeps you going. So let go of the nerves a little bit and accept that yes, people are interested in you. For being you. Because you're awesome.

Promise.

BlogHer Editor Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom) blogs at Stop, Drop and Blog.

Forget everything you've heard or read since the GOP announced Cleveland, Ohio as the host city for its 2016 Republican National Convention. As an Atlantic seaboard snob who has now lived longer in Cleveland than anywhere else (26-plus years), and couldn't be happier about it, here's where you need to start your online education about Cleveland - and then share it.

10 Things You Need to Learn About Cleveland

1 and 2: The Best Cleveland Top Ten Things List and The City Club of Cleveland

Dan Moulthrop, the author of Cleveland: 10 Things Politico Should Know, is CEO of The City Club of Cleveland. Through his programming and presence, he's actively raising the visibility of the individual, institutional and organizational talent and success in our midst.  The City Club is "...the nation's oldest continuous independent free speech forum in the country." And my favorite footnote about that? In 2003, Justice Antonin Scalia received an award for being a free speech champion at an event that was closed to the media. Boo-yah.

3. NBC's Meet the Press featurette: "Cleveland is forgiving"

This two minute forty second video report balances reality with hope. Given that ABC's George Stephanopoulos grew up outside Cleveland (and graduated from my kids' high school), we might have expected him to do a bit more than just name Cleveland as "Big Winner of the Week." But whatevs. Thank you, Kevin Tibbles.

4. Birthplace of the original Meet the Bloggers

Before blogs got any respect from the rest of the media world - or became required of the journalists in the rest of the media world, Ohio's political bloggers were numerous and prolific. I know, because it's the pack I ran with. Meet the Bloggers convened between 150-200 interviews between 2004 and 2008. And although that forum no longer exists, many of these bloggers have gone on to run for office, be in office, or help others win elected office in a variety of ways. Two of the three founders still live in Cleveland, and blog.

5. Keeping it real

In the last few years, Cleveland has been profiled for all kinds of reasons, including but not limited to: our theater hub, blight, the density of culture and arts in University Circle, its beauty (yes, its beauty). And while that is all real, there's another level at which we - you - have got to keep it real. Because Cleveland is not about pretenses.

Angie Schmitt does a great job of this in, "LeBron James Complicates Cleveland's Comeback Story," featured this week in Good magazine. Other local sources to check out for keeping it real: Roldo Bartimole at the Cleveland Leader (sharp-edged longtime sage), Mansfield Frazier at WTAM (and occasionally CoolCleveland.com), Rustwire, and Belt Magazine.

6. TedxCLE presenters reflect our fabric

You can browse all the videos here. But please check out the founders of TedxCLE, Halle Bram Kogelschatz and Eric Kogelschatz, while you're at it. The bridges they've been building reflect several vibrant sections of the fabric that continues to be repaired, reconstructed and added to in this old city - a fabric that's gained an awful lot of attention thanks to the individuals being threaded together to create and sustain it.

7. Cleveland Food = Coma

I don't even know where to begin but let's start with our favorite Cleveland food blogger, Chef's Widow aka Amelia Sawyer aka wife of chef Jonathon Sawyer. We've also got Michael Symon, as most people know, and too many more to name. Cleveland Independents and Edible Cleveland are excellent sources for all things local food establishments. Even Roll Call's gossip blog put out a special foodie edition to preview the RNC 2016 options. You will have options - plenty of options.

8. Newsflash: Lake Erie, its beaches and the Cuyahoga River are not burning

None of them are burning - none. So let's just get that out of the way. In fact, all of them gleam and the city itself almost always looks its best when you are viewing it from the water - although even that is changing. So here are some sources to get you started: we've got a national park that encompasses the Cuyahoga River, we've got incredible Metroparks, and thriving boating and rowing culture.

9. Pro sports will be on hiatus

Depending on how LeBron James the Cleveland Cavaliers do in 2015-2016, and which dates the RNC picks, there might be some dalliance in scheduling conflicts, but owner Dan Gilbert has already said that the Quicken Loans Arena will be available for the RNC. As for the major league baseball schedule, it's expected that the Cleveland Indians will be away. And, for one perspective on the Cleveland Indians mascot-logo-name controversy, Connie Schultz does a nice job touching on most of the sentiments the issues raise in a June 2014 column. Definitely a To Be Continued matter that might see the team sporting a different image.

10. Friendliest city you may ever encounter

Inane lists of what not to miss, and what to miss, will be coming our way over the next two years. But so far one thing I've yet to see on any litany is a remark about how friendly people here are. It's the reason I chose to move here.

My first visit to Cleveland happened on the most typical grey winter day and I got lost on an insufferably ordinary, seemingly endless east-west thoroughfare. I couldn't get over how flat it was (compared to New Haven, CT - which isn't exactly mountaneous) and how many American cars there were. But everyone was so.nice. Uniquely and noticeably. And this is something that you still hear people say.

On top of that, every friend and relative I've had visit me here over the last 25 years has loved it here. Sure, to visit. Sure, because I put on good parties. But ultimately, it's been the city and the region that's done the selling.

Now, if you ask me, the real gold ring for convention selections will always belong to BlogHer. So I'm not writing up this primer for nothing. But either way - I'll be leaving the light on and the fridge stocked in June and July of 2016. I look forward to hosting some of you.

Jill

Writes Like She Talks

Admit it, you've always wanted your Google+ name to be Blueberry Sunbeam, but you're a good girl and you play by Google+'s rules, so you used your boring, everyday name when you set up your account. Well guess what, average name user? You can finally use that brilliant name that came to you in a drug-induced Burning Man haze! Google+ has lifted their rule about using actual names on your Google profile.

According to PC World,

Google conceded Tuesday that it has also excluded people who don’t want to use their real name ... Google said Tuesday that on Google+ there were no longer restrictions on the names people could use.

I use my real name on Google because I'm just not that creative, but I know plenty of people who are using pseudonyms in order to remain more anonymous online. I'm sure I'm not the only one who sees people using their blog title as their first name or the pseudonym they use with their blog. In that way, this announcement sort of feels like your parents handing you the keys to their car after months of taking it on joyrides. It's sanctioned now by Google, and you no longer need to fear that they will shut down your account because you clearly used a fake name. But at the same time, how many people followed Google+'s rule and provided their real name when they set up their Gmail account? I would hazard a guess that while the vast majority of people entered at least the correct first name, that many skirted that rule since their account's inception.

Do you use your real name on your Google account? What do you think was the point of the rule change since using your real name has always been on the honour system?

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens and Lost and Found. Her novel about blogging is Life from Scratch.

Being at a healthy weight, no one really questioned my eating habits. I was the Sporty Spice of every group, so excessive eating was justified and even praised.  Through college I managed my healthy weight by keeping my routine of unwarranted eating and extreme exercise (my BMI was about 22). Luckily I love fruits and vegetables, but processed grains and starches were primary staples in my diet. (I couldn’t say no to a Pop-Tart.)

Symptoms

During Finals Week of my last semester of my undergraduate career, I developed a horrible cough. It was December and between my allergies and the dry air, I was prone to winter aliments. My study sessions were constantly interrupted with coughing spells and phlegm projection, so I had to keep myself out of the library and study under self-inflicted house arrest.

A few days into my cough, I looked at my naked body in the mirror and noticed significant weight loss. I knew I shouldn’t have been exercising while sick, but my appetite was out-of-control and I felt it necessary to burn off the calories. Plus, I was receiving compliments left-and-right on my new sickly figure. Not only did my hunger increase, but I could never get enough water! While typing my Capstone paper, I noticed I had gotten up three times in one hour to refill my water glass. But hell, my throat was so dry and sore from the coughing that I rationalized that I could use the extra H2O.

I let a couple weeks go by with my undying cough before I finally saw a doctor. Insuranceless and sick, I told the campus physician I was asthmatic and she knew exactly what I needed – a new inhaler. Alleluia! I was so excited to sleep through the night without a coughing spell that I started my new steroid therapy immediately.

Fast forward a few weeks and my cough was still aggressive as hell, I was eating at a spectacular rate, and my weight was still plummeting. I felt like Bill Halleck from Stephen King’s Thinner. However, there were two new developments to my illness: a strong craving for sweets and horrible leg cramps in the middle of the night. All of my symptoms were mounting during the “Gluten Free” craze, and everyone I vented to about my symptoms were convinced I had a gluten allergy. But even after cutting gluten from my diet, the pounds kept coming off and the urge to pee every 15 minutes wasn’t making anything easier.

I entered the working world with bright eyes and a bushy tale… and still no health insurance. Unable to find a full-time job right away, I made ends meet by working three part-time jobs and remained sick throughout the summer. By mid-September, my 5’3” frame weighed 98 lbs. I could barely stay awake because I was incredibly lethargic. When I was awake I was eating anything I could get my hands on, even food I didn’t like (which is hard to come by because I’m far from a picky eater). Finally, my mom took me to the ER where I spent a couple minutes in triage and was rushed to an ER station where I was told I was a Type I diabetic.

Diagnosis

With no time to waste, I began a combination of insulin therapy, hydration therapy (potassium drips burn better than the fires of hell), and fasting. My one job was to get my sugar levels down from the 600s that have been plaguing my body. In a nutshell, I was being flushed. With multiple tubes sticking out of my arms and being poked and prodded with needles every 20 minutes, the only thing I could think about was my next meal. I’ve never fasted before, and I was more stressed out over not eating or drinking for the next 24 hours than I was about my new diagnosis. When I was finally able to eat, I couldn’t believe the amounts I was allotted.  Only three meals a day was a joke to me. But I learned a trick! Before giving me pills, the nurse asked if I had a weak stomach because if I did she could offer me graham crackers. Knowing I have an iron stomach, I lied to get a square of joy.

Addicted to Food

It goes without saying that while I was sick, I developed an addiction to food. I love lean protein and fresh veggies, but all I wanted was chocolate bars, sugary cereals, and fried pastries. All my life I have been active and I allowed myself to give into temptation whenever it presented itself, but now I had become incredibly limited. Rather than treating diabetes as a lifestyle change, I approached it like a fad diet regimen.

I began my new diet but gave myself free days (Sundays I could eat whatever I wanted) and cheat scenarios (family get-togethers, work potlucks). When I would allow myself to cheat, I took it to the extreme. When bagels were provided at work, I didn’t enjoy one; I had four. One slice of pizza became a whole pie. A handful of M&Ms after dinner turned into an entire bowl. Two scoops of ice cream turned into the whole carton… I don’t even like ice cream! With insulin finally present in my body and an unslowing hunger and no willpower, I gained all of my weight back plus 15 pounds and my sugar levels were out-of-control. I was proud if my sugar was under 300, but even that was rare.

I had to learn the hard way that there are no cheat days with diabetes.

Binge Eating

I was terribly insecure about my weight and my inability to control my sugar. I knew I had to make a change. I made a huge mistake of cutting carbs completely out of my diet (again, approaching diabetes like a diet for weight loss, forgetting the health concept), so when I did get a taste of carbohydrates after a stressful day, I felt as if I deserved a culinary reward and I reverted back to my cookie and cake binges. To end my practically daily binges, I licensed myself to one treat during my weekly grocery trip.

There’s an old saying, “A taste of honey is worse than none at all.” That became my life! Tasting my one assigned treat would never satisfy my craving. Instead, it left me wanting more. I felt like a heroin addict getting her fix when I would dive into a bowl of cereal, bite into a candy bar, or savor a soft doughnut. My body would tense up, my eyes would dilate, and I would sigh heavily at the tastes and textures swarming my mouth.  It would border line orgasmic.

Once I would finish my delicacy, I would drive my crack ass back to the grocery store and buy a variety of candy bars, packs of cookies, and a whole loaf of bread only to eat all of it within the hour. My attitude became, “Well, I already messed up; I might as well go all out.” By the end of the night, I looked as if I had swallowed a basketball and my morning glucose readings were so high my meter couldn’t detect an actual number.

These weekly binges turned into biweekly binges that became three day long binges. I would lay in bed crying because I was so angry at myself for binging. Between the weight gain, extremely high sugar levels, and aching belly, I called out my mental weakness and decided that major changes needed to be made.

Trying to Change

I tried everything to make that change. I started working out twice a day. I kept a food journal. I stopped buying treats at the grocery store. I researched binge eating and proper diabetic meals. I kept a strict routine and even skipped out on family and work functions to avoid temptation. Even with all of these changes, temptation would find me, and I caved every… single… time.

My mental and physical health were at their breaking point, and I began to grow insecure in my relationships. I began choosing to stay isolated at home to eat in private over spending quality time with people I loved. I knew I had to openly admit my problem to a second party.

Real Change

My confession came out during work.

I was incredibly depressed over my unhealthy lifestyle, and it must have shown on my face because a friend asked if I was okay. As a woman I’m able to lock up my feelings deep inside until they come spewing out, and my friend’s concern “erupted the volcano.” My eyes welled up on the spot, and I confessed everything that went on behind closed doors. I even told him of a time I was so upset after a particular binge, I threw most of the food in my apartment away and chucked my insulin pens against my brick walls. My vent shocked him. He said my cool demeanor at work and normal weight made him think everything was okay.

Once I admitted my problem to someone, I sat down and admitted the reality to myself: I have diabetes.

I wrote that sentence in my journal. I said it out loud, “I am a diabetic.”

Over and over again.

Diabetes isn’t an excuse to get healthy, that’s what bikini season is for. Diabetes is cause for a necessary lifestyle transformation. I lectured myself, “Amanda, you’re a diabetic. You can’t continue this way. You’re killing yourself physically and mentally. A slice of bread will spike your sugar, so what gives you license to eat a whole damn loaf in one sitting (which really happened)? Stop this, now!”

A wave of calm rushed over me after my monologue. With an improved diet, aggressive insulin treatment, constant movement and a healthy routine my sugar stays under 200. That’s not to say I’m better. I’ve only been at it for a couple of weeks, and I know I am still fragile and will cave under pressure from time-to-time. Slowing down to realize what I am doing and incredible amounts of support from my loved ones has helped me in more ways than I can explain.  My boyfriend has been the heart of my recovery. Like any addiction, this is going to be with me forever, and I will always be attracted to the idea of losing myself in food. I expect to cry, binge, recover, and repeat more times than I can count, but with each failure comes a lesson I’m willing to learn.

UPDATED: Color me mortified. The correct Skype ID for this fun service is SkypeBlogHer. (I had it reversed in the post originally.) So please add SkypeBlogHer!!

Last week I announced the BlogHer Buddy System, brought to you by Official Communications Partner, Skype.

Have you signed up yet? Have you accepted my Skype invite, so you can get added? Did you know you have to go to Skype to see your Skype invites and groups...it doesn't come to your email? Or did you know that, and you just don't want to connect to me?

Credit: reynermedia.

I haz questions.

The groups are hopping, including the BlogHer Homeroom, which is just a big potpourri of bloggers of every identity and interest group!

And now there's another cool way to connect and get answers about the conference...a support Skype ID especially created for BlogHer '14!

Kelly from Skype, a real-live dedicated human, will be (wo)manning the BlogHerSkype Skype ID starting today and continuing for these two weeks leading up to the conference, and the two weeks after the conference. every day from 8AM-4PM PT.

Have a question about the conference? Ask Kelly at SkypeBlogHer.

Want to ask about a Skype feature? Ask Kelly at SkypeBlogHer.

Trying to decide between two different awesome-sounding panels at the conference? Kelly at BlogHerSkype will hear you out and give you her totally solicited opinion :)

Looking for a hot San Jose night spot? Kelly at SkypeBlogHer is your woman.

Want to learn more about Skype's super-cool on-site activation and how you can pledge to lead a more meaningful life? Kelly at SkypeBlogHer is pretty deep.

And Kelly will even have some BlogHer elves there to support her in case you bombard her with too many or too difficult questions.

So bring it! Connect with SkypeBlogHer on Skype today. Let's keep Kelly busy!

Elisa Camahort Page
BlogHer
elisa@blogher.com 

My BlogHer profile truly shows you everything I do online...Check it out!!

For all its frivolity, there's no doubt that doing good is woven into the very fabric of social media. Many of us use our blogs to raise awareness and funds for an issue we've become passionate about. We work with brands on "cause marketing" campaigns. We chime in on a hashtag, then get caught up in a debate about whether joining "awareness memes" is helpful to a cause. Maybe we're microdonating to a project we believe in, or participating in Blog Action Day each October.

All this—all of it—is the legacy of the dedicated do-gooders, those bloggers who work with a singular passion for change. Issue and nonprofit bloggers shaped social media from its very beginning. They were among the first to frame their blogs as projects, taking on challenges to demonstrate the change they wanted to see in the world. They were early to see the power of social media to amplify a message, and to give voice to people who traditionally went unheard. If personal storytellers are the heart of the blogosphere, these women are its sage conscience.

This week, I challenge and encourage you to share your admiration for a blogger who is a passionate about a cause. To get you inspired, I'll start by celebrating 10 do-good blogs by women who have worked with BlogHer (and inspired me personally) in some form or another over the past 10 years.

A veteran of nonprofit learning, Beth knows that every cause needs as much help as it can get (and then some). Beth's Blog: How Nonprofits Can Use Social Media is THE space to learn how to use technology to inspire change. Check out her many presentations to see how she's approaching social media and nonprofits from as many angles as possible.

Studying computer programming and biotech in college, Kimberly loved her field, but hated feeling isolated from people of her same background. She started Black Girls Code to bring interest and opportunities in the technology field in the next generation of African American girls and young women through her blog, classes and workshops in several series, and a documentary series.

Maggie founded Violence Unsilenced in 2009 to bring bloggers together to support one another as survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and domestic sexual abuse. It has grown into a movement to give a safe, empowering, validating space for all survivors to tell their stories, and to educate the public about the violence that is everywhere in our culture—yet so rarely talked about.

Like BlogHer, Katherine's blog, Postpartum Progress, is celebrating 10 years in 2014. Her widely read blog so profoundly affected so many women struggling with postpartum depression and related illnesses over the last decade that the Internet held a blogathon to thank her on her anniversary.

In 2010 and 2011, "Mrs. Q," an anonymous elementary school teacher, put her job in peril by using Fed Up With School Lunch to eat and photograph the food in her school's cafeteria. Shocked by the subpar meals and by the realization that parents often don't know what their kids are getting to eat, she joined the school food reform movement and eventually published a book under her real name (Sarah Wu). Since then, she has shifted focus to teaching and family, but her blog remains a benchmark of online activism.

Caitlin's mission for Operation Beautiful is to end negative self-talk ("fat talk") among women. She started her project by posting anonymous sticky notes in public restrooms that say things like, "You are amazing just the way you are!" Now, she urges you and everyone you know to do the same, and provides resources for all women to change the way we see our bodies.

Luvvie and Karyn founded The Red Pump Project because the HIV/AIDS epidemic had touched both of their lives. It started simply as a call for bloggers to wear red shoes on March 10, National Women and Girls’ HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. Now, it's a nonprofit that hosts many (very stylish) fundraisers throughout the year, with participation in the annual Red Pump Day growing each year.

Disgusted by an article that showed the impact of trash on marine life, Beth Terry was inspired to stop buying new plastic in 2007. Since then, My Plastic-Free Life documents her personal struggle to find alternatives to plastic waste, campaigns asking companies to change their practices, and challenges to think about and document your own habits. Her own plastic waste is now under 2% of the national average.

Rather than focusing in on just one issue, Britt inspires "changebloggers" at
Have Fun Do Good, which she started in 2005, and in her online Veg Cookbook Club. Check out her series of podcast interviews with people with "big vision."

Cynthia Liu founded K-12 News Network to identify what is and isn't working with our public schools by connecting and organizing parents, teachers, and students to share information and advocate for the best possible education for all children. She won the BlogHer.com / HTC Innovators Award for creative use of technology in the women’s blogosphere at BlogHer '11, and will be a 10X10 speaker at BlogHer '14.

Which cause/nonprofit/change/activist bloggers have made a difference to you? Add your favorites in the comments.

Have you been in a longstanding relationship and now you’re both out of ideas to keep things interesting? Well, have no fear, summer is here, and so are five fun activities to make dating fun again! Keep the imagination and magic in your relationship by using these creative ideas.

Image: Brendan C via Flickr

Take Me Out to the Ball Game!

It’s America’s favorite pastime, and one of the staples of summer. Even if baseball is boring at first, it is still a great opportunity to go out, sit down on a nice summer night, and catch up with that special someone. If you're a fan of both sports, then enough said. This is definitely your type of evening. Have fun people watching in the stadium, or make a game out of predicting the hits and home runs.
Check out when your local team is in town. Go online to see their promotions schedule. Maybe they have a "fireworks night" coming up soon that the both of you would enjoy seeing, to give the evening that extra spark.

I Scream, You Scream...

Image: Susy Morris via Flickr

We all know the end of this saying. It doesn't matter if you've gone on an ice cream date a hundred times. This date never gets old. Beat the heat, enjoy a sugary treat, take a seat, and smile as you enjoy one of the world's simplest delicacies. Ice cream shops are ubiquitous around cities, and generally inexpensive, making this a perfect and fun time for both of you. Get a little creative by getting your own toppings or maybe even trying your hand at making your own homemade ice cream. Leaning a new skill or just one recipe together builds great memories.

Oh, The Places You'll Go!

Image: David Blackwell via Flickr

Take a tip from one of your classic children’s book and go sightseeing! Both of you can take the day off of work, or take the weekend if you need to. See those famous museums and sights you've always wanted to see in your own hometown. Or get away from the crowds and go explore some of those hikes and views you’ve always heard about. As our good friend Ferris Bueller once said, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once and awhile, you could miss it." A lot of the places you might want to see could require a bit of a road trip. This is perfect, as just the two of you will be cruising in the car with nothing but talking, and stories to share. Reconnecting on the road is a great escape for both of you!

Fun in the Sun

You most likely did it as a kid, and it doesn't get any less fun as an adult. Spending the day at the beach is, and will always be the greatest way to make lasting memories. If you can, maybe take a surfing class together! It might look like a Houston infant swimming lesson at first, but once you both get the hang of things, you’ll be hanging ten in no time.

Image: Anni Stru via Flickr

If you're not a fan of swimming, bring a blanket, pack a picnic basket, and enjoy a nice meal. Everyone has a little bit of the romantic in them, and once the sun begins to set, take a long walk together just enjoying each other’s company. Potentially a perfect end to a perfect day. What could be better? If the beach isn't close by, most likely your town has a popular park for a picnic and room for a romantic evening walk.

Amuse Me

If your parents didn't take you to an amusement park at least once during your childhood, there's seriously something wrong. An amusement park is the perfect place for you and your loved one to experience the thrill of a fast roller coaster, enjoy live performances, and, if you're not a speed demon type of person, take a slow ride on a Ferris Wheel. This will most likely be an all-day event. If you need to travel a bit to the nearest amusement, it's worth it. Pack the sunscreen, lace up the tennis shoes, and get ready for a fun and exciting day. It'll be one that you and your significant other will not forget.

Image: Vlasta Juricek via Flickr

When dating, it can be easy to fall prey to the trap of boring and tired dates. Or maybe you’ve even settled in for watching TV together every night. While it’s great to have quiet time alone, and to just relax, summer can provide some really wild and fun new experiences for you both to get to know one another. Take advantage of the warm weather and these great ideas for dates.

So, I have to tell you all about my new favorite kitchen accessory. It was a gift from my soon-to-be mother-in-law. These Ball jar freezer cubes are ahhh-amazing!!!

I love the abundance of fresh herbs in my garden during the summer, but they are so hard to store throughout the winter--I'm just really bad at it. I've tried to dry herbs by putting them in my dehydrator, hanging them upside down, and laying them out to dry on screens. Let's just say none of those tactics have worked for me..but now! With these freezer cubes I can chop up my fresh herbs, blend them together, and then just freeze them with a liquid. Summer herbs all year long! I've had fun experimenting with different combinations. I've come up with a great lemonade using basil ice cubes, giving it a summery kick.

Look at that plain water just waiting to be flavored! (The strawberry was in the fridge and just felt necessary...totally unrelated.) I actually used up the cube versions I made of these and made some more in these awesome silicon heart trays, both work great. This recipe is super easy and makes staying hydrated so much more enjoyable.

I also mixed some savory herbs with olive oil so when we have guests over, or just feel like a fancy bread dip we just have to thaw the cube, top it with Parmesan cheese and we have a delicious oil dip for bread. The possibilities with these freezer cubes are endless! I also want to try a pesto with our garlic scapes.

It is such a time-saver when you're cooking dinner to just pop one of these out of the freezer and into the pan. Then you can saute chicken, pork, fish, vegetables, mushrooms...you get the picture. It would also be great for grilling. Make an aluminum foil packet for whatever you are grilling and pop one of these in it before you throw it on the grill. Bada-bing-bada-boom (who says that) you don't have to worry about seasoning it midway through cooking.

I'm sure there are a million other things to mix up too. Any blend of your favorite herbs can be chopped up and crammed into the cubes. If you don't have these silicone trays you can use regular ice cube trays. But really these are so worth purchasing because their silicone design makes it easy to pop the frozen cubes out, and it has a nice lid to keep people like me from spilling everything all over their freezer.

As soon as the cubes are frozen you can put them into a Ziploc bag in the freezer and reuse the trays to make more. That way you can have a constant supply throughout the fall and winter!

Find the recipes I used here!

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I have this friend who is great. She's funny, smart and really kind. But the problem is—she is always ON. Like she seems like she is always doing a comedy routine when we are together. We have only been friends for about six months so maybe she will take it down a notch soon? I keep waiting. It is sort of exhausting me.

Signed,

Just Be Real

Dear Just Be Real,

Let’s see, you have a friend who’s funny, smart and really kind. I was thinking that you were going to ask how to get her to cosign a loan for you, so this whole “always ON” thing came out of nowhere for me. But okay, I accept the challenge. I’m here to help. (She doesn't have an OFF button, does she?)

Like you, I find people who are always on extremely draining. And the thing is, they sort of lure us in. Because at first, they are just funny and adorable and it’s so fun and pleasant to be around them. But after a while, you start feeling like a laugh track. And if you don’t laugh, some will repeat the joke, pronouncing each word slowly to make sure it doesn’t fly over your head. In what is supposed to be a friendship between two equals, I don’t blame you for not wanting to be an audience member.

I don’t know why she does it—perhaps she has a bit of a Class Clown Complex, or she may know that humor is her strength and she leads with it. Every damn time. But after all the laughter and the levity, you want the real person. You want a friend who can empathize, commiserate and at certain times, just sit with you in silence. Friendship is about sharing, not performing and it seems like your relationship is lacking in that category.

Of course, as you’ve pointed out, you’ve known each other for only six months, so maybe it is something that will pass. Perhaps the two of you haven’t gone through a rough patch that you’ve shared with each other in your lives. You can wait for a while longer, or you can bring up a subject that you would like to discuss. If she goes into her shtick, tell her that you really love her sense of humor, but that you’d appreciate a nonhumorous take from her on the situation, as well.

She may surprise you by becoming a friend that you cherish for many qualities. Or she may insist on the stand-up routine.

In which case I definitely recommend the two-drink minimum.

Good luck,

Marinka, TMH

By Kristen Droesch for YourTango.com

You know how it is.

Let's be frank; outside of porn stars in a carefully choreographed scene, most of us don't look so pretty in a sex video (looking at you, Paris). Plus, it's awkward as hell. And here's the proof, broken down into 13 stages for your convenience.

1. Getting drunk enough to think it's a good idea.

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2. Stumbling around the house trying to find the camera, because this is not something you want on your iPhone.

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3. Stripping down and realizing that you both forgot to shave

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4. Still being drunk enough not to care.

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5. Trying (and failing) to get the camera in a flattering position.

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6. Psyching each other up to actually get the deal done.

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7. Deciding it's the perfect time to try that freaky new move you two have been hesitant to experiment with.

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8. Realizing that you didn't stretch before hand.

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9. Trying to make a sexy O-face instead of your usual nonsense, and looking like this instead:

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10. One of you getting ahead of the game and, well…

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11. Sitting down to watch it in the light of day, and being so sure that you two are as hot as porn stars.

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12. Watching it, cringing in horror…

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13. …and getting drunk again to erase the memory.

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This article originally appeared on YourTango.com: 13 Awkward Stages of Making a Sex Video

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I gave my daughter a joint this past weekend.

I don’t mean that to sound like it was no big deal, because it was not at all a casual decision. My daughter is almost 15 years old and a freshman in high school. She has always been very open and honest with me.

Image: Torben Bjorn Hansen

Suffice it to say, my husband and I are pretty liberal parents. We try not to judge our daughter and to teach with compassion. Of course, we've already had the talks about sex and drugs with her. I told her that I was almost out of high school before I went “all the way” with my college boyfriend. I also admitted that I experimented with marijuana in my teens, but that it was much weaker back then and I did not let it get in my way.

She explained that she learned all about drugs and alcohol in school and knew that if she became a “stoner” that it would interfere with her brain development and maturity level. She confessed that she had been drunk with her friends — one time.

“What did you drink and did you come home that night?” I asked, with perhaps a little more alarm in my voice that I would've liked.

She refused to say, but after I ran through a list of suspects, she admitted it was vodka. With a peach schnapps chaser! She told me that she had slept out that night and I have to admit that I was relieved that I hadn’t failed to notice that she was inebriated.

I often try to conceal my dread that my baby (who is half a head taller than I am) is venturing into the big bad world. I know I have to keep the conversation open and to not judge her too harshly. I told her why I disapproved of alcohol. She told me that she would only drink if it was a special occasion, whatever that means. I want to keep her from drinking, but short of shadowing her to every party or coordinating a detail of private detectives, it is really out of my control. This is what they’re talking about when they’re talking about “letting go.”

Then she told me that she hadn’t tried pot … yet. She said she wanted to and that if I didn’t already know it, that everyone in her school got high. I said I had no doubt it was widespread, but that I still wished she would wait. She looked at me with the same look of pity that I looked at my mother with when I was her age, and then reiterated her intentions to experiment with it.

We discussed how openly her father smoked. I explained that he worked really hard, was very responsible and considered marijuana to be a form of relaxation. I expressed my desire again about how I wished she would wait until she was older, but also had to admit that this was the time in her life to be curious.

She said she was going to sleepover at a friend’s house and that they wanted to try it together. She said it would be so simple to take some of her dad’s stuff as he leaves it in an unlocked cabinet and wouldn’t even notice. She then asked me if I had a joint.

I had long kept a joint in my underwear drawer as security, in case I had a bout of insomnia. We looked for it and discovered that it was gone, taken by my husband, I guessed, when he was running low.

“Why don’t you ask your dad?” I asked.

“No,” she answered curtly, “and don’t you ask him either!”

I told her that I'd have a discussion with him over whether it was the right thing to offer her some.

“I can get it from a junior I know …” she mumbled under her breath. I thought about how her dad got it from a neighbor who grew it himself. How it was middle of the road stuff and certainly not laced with anything.

If she was going to smoke — and lets face it, nothing I could say would deter her — and if I wanted to keep the lines of communication open, I would have to accept her “occasionally” getting high. So that night, I went to my husband and told him all about our conversation. And early the next morning, he rolled a joint and gave it to me.

I knocked on my daughter’s door and presented her with one skinny little joint. Her eyes widened.

“That’s from daddy?” she asked. I nodded.

“I love him,” she said. “I have the coolest parents.” And that’s how I became my 14-year-old daughter’s pot dealer.

After school that day, she went over to her friend’s house and with two pals finished half the joint. The other two, veterans it seems, told her that it was very weak pot.

Originally published on Purple Clover.

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I peeled an orange in the shower. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but it really happened. There I was, in the shower, minding my own business, when Tiny-Small burst through the door yelling, “I’m hungee, Mom! I’m hungee!” I told her I’d be out in a minute and then I’d get her something to eat. She ran off and I was happy.

But, then, she came back. With an orange. I was washing my hair, soap dripping everywhere, when I see a small hand thrust through the shower curtain, presenting me with an orange.

“Can I eat this, Mom?” she asked?

“In a minute. I am almost done.” I replied.

“I’m so hungee mom. My belly is starving.”

“Can you ask your dad to peel it? I’m in the shower!”

“He’s not here. I’m so hungee. He took Lucy for a walk. Can I eat this now? Please, I have a starving belly, Mom.”

So, with soap dripping in my eyes, I reached for the orange, rinsed it in the shower, stuck my hands outside the shower curtain and began peeling the orange as quickly as possible. Meanwhile, Tiny-Small cheered and danced around in the bathroom.

Then she sat down on the floor and ate her orange.

I feel like this is taking multitasking to a new level. I mean, preparing food while simultaneously taking a shower is probably not the norm and probably an exercise in breaking all sorts of personal boundaries and likely a few health code violations too. The thing is, I just wanted to take a shower, without any crying or starving bellies guilting me into hurrying up.

I don’t think I have taken more than four or five shower completely by myself in the past 3.5 years. I mean, there is always someone standing outside of the shower curtain talking, complaining, or demanding. Sometimes, even a dog strolls in and sticks his head in the shower to see what I am up to.

I really need to start locking the door more.

Have you had any strange parenting multitasking episodes? Have you ever peeled an orange in the shower? Please say YES. I have more strange shower stories than any mother should have. I am hoping you do too. That way I can feel almost normal.

P.S. We have come a long way though. If you could relate to this you might like: If You Give A Toddler A Cookie She Will Throw It In The bathtub With You. I told you the shower theme was a “thing” for us. I am pretty sure a mother is behind getting locks installed on all bathroom doors.

Lillian Connelly in an artist, mother, and blogger living in a geodesic dome in Southern New Mexico. She writes and paints for It’s A Dome Life. You can catch her tweeting @ItsADomeLife and pinning excessive amounts of dessert recipes and art on Pinterest.